To Forgive and Forget
by eblonde
Summary: When a little girl goes missing from a foster home, Jane and Kurt need to put their pasts behind them in order to find her. When Jane gets injured, Kurt needs to find his own inner strength to help her get better, as well as overcome his own demons. Rated M for smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! **

**Sorry I haven't been very active lately… life has been very intense. I'm waiting very eagerly for word on s5 though! **

**This is my next multi chapter, prompted by my lovely lurkingwhump. It's different to my usual work and I'm a little nervous about posting this. **

**Warning for my first attempt at smut. If you're not into that then skip to the first break in the chapter. **

**Hope you enjoy the start of this :)**

Jane and Kurt woke up tangled in each other's embrace, the sun starting to filter in through the curtains.

"Good morning." she whispered.

"Good morning yourself." he replied, bending down and kissing her on the nose. She smiled up at him, her eyes lighting up. Kurt found himself getting lost in the depths of her green eyes. "God you're beautiful." he murmured, cupping her face and pulling her in for a soft kiss.

He felt Jane smile against his mouth.

"You're not too bad yourself." She grinned, kissing the palm of his hand. She climbed on top of him and straddling his hips.

Kurt cocked his head to the side, his eyes lighting up at her sudden change of position.

"Come here." he whispered, pulling her down towards him. Their lips met with a familiar passion, that only comes from years of explored intimacy.

She sighed against his mouth, letting his smell and taste fill her up in a sensory overload. Even after all these years, he still managed to tip her over the edge, without barely having to do anything.

He moved his arms down her back, fingering the elastic of her sleeping shorts. She let out a small shudder as he moved his hands to her front, running his nails along her hip bones.

"Kurt.." she sighed when his teasing was starting to cause impatience.

He chuckled as he slid his fingers into her heat, giving her what she wanted.

Jane moaned in pleasure, arching her back to give him better access.

"Come for me baby." he murmured low in her ear, speeding up his actions.

Jane allowed herself to let go, allowing the waves of pleasure to swallow her whole, until her climax crashed down on her, causing her to cry out and see stars.

Kurt hummed in satisfaction, flipping her onto her back. He removed her shorts, before discarding his own boxers and crawling on top of her, covering her petite body with his own.

She whispered his name, pleading for him to put her out of her misery.

He entered her gently, allowing her time to adjust, before moving in rhythmic thrusts.

Their lips met in breathless kisses and they moaned each others names.

Their movements became more erratic and Kurt knew they were both close. He waited for Jane to lose control again, before allowing himself to let go. They climaxed at the same time, shuddering against each other, before Kurt collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily.

Jane recovered much faster, stroking the back of his head, as he slowly regained his breath.

"God I love you." he said, looking up at her. He smiled at her lazy smile, her expression one of pure bliss.

"I love you too." she whispered, eyes shining.

He lay his head back down on her chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of her heart.

"We should get up…" Jane said regretfully.

"No." Kurt replied defiantly.

Jane grinned.

"Come on." she laughed, pushing him off of her. "I call first shower."

"Good." Kurt murmured. "Means I can stay in bed longer."

Jane rolled her eyes, getting to her feet and making her way to the bathroom. She turned the shower on and popped her head back into the bedroom

"...you know you could always join me…"

* * *

They arrived at work to find the rest of the team already waiting for them.

"You've got something?" Kurt asked.

Patterson nodded, looking nervous.

"Is it another tattoo?" Jane asked, glancing at her husband. The tattoo cases seemed to put everyone on edge ever since Roman had died.

Patterson cleared her throat.

"No… not a tattoo." At Kurt's raised eyebrow she continued. "We've had reports of a disturbance at a foster home in Queens."

"Ok? Why does that involve us? Shouldn't the local PD be taking point on this?" Tasha asked.

Patterson nodded.

"The foster home is run by Anna Lee Mckewan."

"Why do I know that name?" Reade asked.

Patterson pulled up a mugshot of a lady in her mid thirties on her screen.

"Anna Lee was arrested a few years ago for having ties to the Irish Mob." Patterson said, changing the image to a rap sheet.

"If she was involved with the mob then how come she can run a foster home?" Jane asked.

"All the charges were dropped." Tasha said, taking point. "Someone very powerful, yet very anonymous managed to sweep everything under the carpet."

"What were the charges?" Kurt asked.

"We're still trying to figure that out. Her whole file has been redacted." Patterson answered. "Anyway we got an anonymous tip from the neighbour's that there were some disturbances at the home and Weitz wants us to handle this quietly." she said rolling her eyes.

"Of course he does." Reade muttered. "Check it out."

Tasha, Jane and Kurt all turned and walked back out of the office. All Jane was wondering was why Patterson looked so nervous.

* * *

They arrived at the address to find a very normal looking suburban home. There were bikes strewn all over the lawn and an unkempt garden stretched up the side of the front path. They got out of the SUV and walked up to the front door. Kurt knocked on the door and stepped back.

The sound of kids yelling came through the door before it was opened and a disheveled looking woman appeared from behind it.

"Can I help you?" she asked, slightly out of breath.

"Ma'am, my name is Kurt Weller. I'm with this FBI. This is Jane and Tasha." he said gesturing to the girls behind him.

"Is there a problem?" Anna Lee asked, her smiling falling off her face.

"We've had word of some disturbances from within the home." Kurt said.

Anna Lee laughed.

"Of course there are disturbances. I have six children under the age of ten here. What do you expect?"

Kurt nodded his head in acknowledgment of that fact.

"I understand Ma'am. Can we come inside?" he asked.

Anna Lee scoffed.

"Suit yourself." she said moving aside.

The three agents moved into the house. The moment they entered the living room, they felt like they had been hit by a tornado.

There were kids toys everywhere, and there were kids everywhere. They were all yelling at each other, trying to be heard over the others.

"All of you out!" Anna Lee shouted. They all looked up at her in a hurry and scrambled out of the living room.

Kurt shared a look with Jane and Tasha. Clearly the kids were scared of her.

"Now, what do you want? What do you need to see?" Anna Lee asked, clearly impatient.

"As I said, we are just here to follow up on a tip." Kurt replied.

"This is because of what happened a few years ago, isn't it?" Anna Lee asked, getting angry. "I was acquitted of all charges. You feds are just trying to cause trouble!"

"Ma'am we have to follow up on the information we've received." Kurt said, trying to diffuse the situation. He could see her getting mad very quickly.

She rolled her eyes.

"Be my guest. Look around. You won't find anything."

Kurt nodded to the girls and they walked off to check the rest of the house. He stayed in the room, wanting to keep an eye on Anna Lee in case she was a flight risk.

They sat in silence for a while, waiting for Jane and Tasha to come back.

It didn't take too long before the two agents walked back into the room.

"Everything looks fine." Tasha said, raising her eyebrows. She was surprised that they hadn't found anything. The way that Anna Lee was acting, she had expected to find some skeletons in the closet.

"I told you." Anna Lee said, shaking her head.

"Sorry for the disruption." Kurt said. "A social worker will be along tomorrow to check in with you."

"Fine." she replied.

Jane frowned. This lady was acting like a bratty teenager. No wonder there had been a call in about her.

They were just about to leave when one of the children came back into the living room. Kurt smiled down at the little boy that stood at his feet.

"Hello there bud." he said kneeling down to his level.

"Are you a policeman?" the boy said. He couldn't have been more than six.

Kurt nodded.

"I gots to tell you something." the little boy whispered. He looked scared.

Kurt caught Jane's eye. She nodded, knowing Kurt wanted her to distract Anna Lee while he spoke to the child.

He walked out into the hallway with the child.

"What did you need to tell me?" he asked, kneeling down again.

The little boy looked down at his shoes, biting his lip.

"It's ok." Kurt said softly. "You can tell me. I promise you won't get in trouble."

The boy looked up at him with wide eyes. He was frightened, but Kurt could see trust in his eyes.

"Did Miss Anna tell you about the other children?" he asked in a small voice.

"What other children?" Kurt asked. He could feel his heart rate pick up, but kept his face impassive so he didn't scare him.

"The ones that live under the floor."

Kurt's heart dropped.

"Can you show me?" he asked kindly.

The little boy nodded and took off towards one of the bedrooms.

"What are you doing out here?" Anna Lee asked, storming into the hallway.

Jane and Tasha followed behind her, shooting Kurt an apologetic look. They had tried to distract her as long as possible.

"This young man was about to show me where the other children are." Kurt said flatly.

Anna Lee laughed maniacally.

"This is Fletcher. Fletcher likes to tell lies." she growled grabbing the kid by the elbow.

"Let him go." Kurt warned. "Tasha." he said, indicating for Tasha to hold the woman while he and Jane followed Fletcher.

They made their way into the bedroom and Fletcher opened the wardrobe. He pulled back the carpet, exposing a trap door.

"That's where they are?" Kurt asked softly.

Fletcher nodded.

"Do I have to go down there?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.

"Of course not!" Jane said, looking like she was going to cry herself.

"Oh good!" he said. "Sometimes if we are naughty, Miss Anna makes us go down there with the others."

"How about you just wait on the bed for us." Jane said, lifting him so he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

She turned back to where Kurt was waiting for her. He opened the trap door, exposing concrete steps leading down to the basement. They started down the stairs, the air growing colder the further in they got. They turned their flashlights on.

Jane felt a chill run down her spine. Images of a dark shadow leading her down a staircase flashed through her mind. She felt nauseous and had to reach out and take Kurt's hand to steady her nerves.

"You ok?" he asked gently, knowing this would be triggering her flashbacks.

She nodded, not wanting to trust her voice. She took a deep breath and carried on descending.

They reached the bottom of the stairs to find a large wooden door, bolted from the outside.

Kurt hit the padlock with the handle of his flashlight. It broke after the third strike and he threw the lock on the floor in disgust. He pushed the door open. They both had to cover their mouths with their shirts at the smell that assaulted them.

It smelled of urine and faeces and Jane knew that what she was about to see would haunt her for the rest of her life.

There were old dirty cots lining the room, and on each cot was a skinny child, clad in only filthy rags.

She felt her face grimace and her breathing pick up as images of the children from the orphanage she grew up in replaced the children in the room. She was back in that hole and if it wasn't for Kurt's steady hand on her back, she knew she probably wouldn't have been able to make it back out of her own head.

Kurt pulled out his cell phone and called Patterson.

"I need you to send backup and a lot of ambulances." Kurt said quietly.

"What happened?!" Patterson asked frantically.

"Lots of children." was all he replied.

Seeing how distressed his wife was getting, Kurt lead her back up the stairs. They found Fletcher still sitting on the bed where they had left him.

"Did you see the kids that live under the floor?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah we did bud." Kurt replied softly. "There's people coming to help them."

Fletcher nodded.

"What about Tyler?" he asked.

"Tyler?"

"She's my bestest friend." Fletcher said. "Miss Anna's friend took her away." he paused, looking down at his shoes look sad. "I haven't seen her in ages."

Kurt looked at Jane. So not only had they discovered the children in those conditions, they also had a missing child on their hands.

He sighed.

This was going to be one long and awful case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2. Still setting things up in this chapter. Should be getting more into things in chapter 3. Hope you enjoy though and I would love to hear what you think! **

It was only minutes before the first wave of emergency services arrived on the scene. Jane had opted to wait out front for them. She had been physically ill on the front lawn, both from the scene she had just witnessed, and also from the flashbacks her memory was serving her. Tasha had cuffed Anna Lee and led her outside. Kurt had taken it upon himself to watch the six children inside the house until social services arrived.

The NYPD were the first on the scene. Kurt quickly debriefed them, before they made their way down the trap door. The paramedics arrived next, followed quickly by social services. The EMTs joined the NYPD in extracting the kids from the basement, while social services took care of the healthier children. They would each be taken to get checked over by a doctor, before being placed in a different home.

Kurt came out to join his wife. She was pale and withdrawn. She hadn't said a word since they had left the basement. He had watched her being sick from the kitchen window, and his chest ached that he couldn't fix this for her.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, standing as close to her as possible, while maintaining a sense of professionalism.

"I'm ok." she replied, her voice hoarse. "How could anyone do this?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. "How could someone do this to children?"

Kurt shook his head.

"I don't know." he whispered.

She deflated.

"So what happens now?" she asked, wiping her face.

"They'll more than likely be put into a rehabilitation centre… and then when they're better they'll be placed in a different home."

Jane took a steadying breath.

"They're going to be so broken." She said sadly.

Kurt nodded.

"They will get the help that they need."

"They shouldn't need it in the first place!" she said vehemently. "How did the system fail so badly, that they let a monster like her have so many kids?"

"I would say there's something larger at play here…" Kurt replied. "As for now, we have a missing child to find."

Jane nodded and followed him to the SUV. Zapata had taken Anna Lee back to the FBI, where she was waiting to be interrogated.

* * *

The ride back to the FBI was one of silence. Jane could feel Kurt's tension radiating off of him in waves.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, her own voice still shaky. Even though she was struggling herself, she knew that Kurt had trouble with cases about missing kids.

He glanced across at his wife and sighed.

"Her name is Tyler, Jane." he said quietly. "It's too close."

"Maybe we should both sit this one out." Jane suggested, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. "I think maybe we are both too close to this… too emotionally involved.

"No." Kurt said adamantly. "The fact that we are both close to this makes us the perfect people for the job."

Jane opened her eyes and stared up at her husband. She reached across and grabbed his hand.

"Ok." she whispered. "But we are going to have to support each other through this."

He met her eyes for a moment, then stared back at the road. Jane took that as a sign of acknowledgement. She was going to have to keep a close eye on him.

* * *

Anna Lee wasn't talking.

Jane and Kurt had taken point on the interrogation, but so far she was yet to utter a single word.

"Where's the girl?" Kurt asked again. "Come on Anna Lee, you're going to prison for a very long time. Why not help yourself and tell us where the girl is? We can cut you a deal."

Anna Lee answered by rolling her eyes.

Kurt frowned and closed her file.

"Fine. Have it your way."

He glanced at his wife. In unison they stood and left the interrogation room. They walked around the corner to find Reade standing behind the two way mirror.

"How do we get her to talk?" Reade asked. "She's already lost everything. We don't have a squeezing point "

"I don't know." Jane said dejectedly. "Maybe we need to talk to someone else - or several someone's."

Kurt raised his eyebrow.

"Who?"

Jane shrugged.

"Fletcher and the other kids."

Kurt nodded, taking a breath in through his nose.

"Fletcher said Tyler was taken by one of Anna Lee's friends… which means he has probably seen him."

Reade nodded.

"Go." he said. "I'll get Patterson to send you the details on where the kids are."

* * *

The kids were still being seen to at the hospital. Jane and Kurt walked into the A&E to find a very upset Fletcher.

"Hey bud." Kurt said, taking a seat beside him on the gurney. "What's going on?"

Fletcher responded by bursting into tears.

"We just want to take a little blood." the nurse said. She looked like she had had a rough day.

"It's really not so bad!" Jane said kindly. "It only hurts a little bit… and not for very long."

Fletcher shook his head.

"I don't want it!" he wailed.

The nurse looked at the agents exasperated.

"What if I go first hmm?" Jane asked, crouching down in front of him. She glanced up at the nurse who gave a small nod in confirmation. Fletcher wiped his face on the back of his hand.

"Ok…" he whispered.

Jane took her jacket off and rolled up her sleeve. She caught Kurt's smirk out of the corner of her eye and shot him a sly look. She was a big softy and she knew he couldn't get enough of it. Kurt stood and she sat down beside Fletcher, holding out her arm. The nurse tied a tourniquet around her forearm, before rubbing an alcohol wipe in the crook in her elbow and inserting the needle into her vein.

Jane looked at Fletcher and saw him staring with wide eyes up at her.

"It doesn't hurt?" he asked.

"Only a teeny tiny bit." Jane replied.

The nurse removed the needle and placed a small plaster on her tattooed skin.

"All done." Jane said, putting her jacket back on. "You're turn."

Fletcher nodded and held his arm out, just like Jane had. The nurse got to work quickly, before he could change his mind.

"Why do you have drawings all over your arm?" Fletcher suddenly asked.

"They're called tattoos." Jane said.

"They're pretty." Fletcher replied and Kurt smiled. He couldn't get over how innocent the child was.

"I think they're pretty too." Kurt said, grinning at his wife."

"I want drawings on my arm too." Fletcher said, smiling softly.

"There you go." the nurse said, "You're all finished."

Fletcher looked down at his arm, to find a bright green plaster stuck to his skin.

"That wasn't so bad!" he said grinning.

The nurse looked appreciatively at the agents before leaving the cubicle.

"We wanted to thank you for being so brave and telling us about the other children." Kurt said, sitting back beside the boy.

"That's ok." Fletcher said. "My mom said policemen were heroes like spiderman. So I knew I could tell you." he said, picking at his pants. "But she's in heaven now." he continued sadly. "I miss her heaps sometimes."

Jane felt her heart break for this wee boy. He was the sweetest little thing and she wished that she could fix every heartbreak he would ever have.

"We were wondering if you could help us again?" Kurt asked quietly.

Fletcher nodded.

"We want to find Tyler. We were wondering if you could tell us about her and the man that took her."

Fletcher straightened up, feeling very important that the police were asking for his help.

"Tyler is my bestest friend." he started. "She is six like me!"

"What colour hair does she have?" Jane asked.

"She has hair like mine!" he said, pointing to his light brown hair. "But hers is really long."

"Do you remember what colour her eyes are?" Jane asked.

Fletcher screwed up his face, trying to remember. "No but if you want to know what she looks like, there is a picture in Miss Anna's hallway."

"Thank you Fletcher." Kurt said smiling. "What about the man who took her? Can you tell us what he looks like?"

Fletcher frowned, trying to remember.

"He had a big bushy beard." he said slowly. "And he spoke funny."

Jane smiled at him, rubbing him on the shoulder.

"Thank you Fletcher." she said again. "You've been very brave and very helpful!"

Fletcher grinned.

"I hope you find her… I miss her."

Jane and Kurt shared a look.

"Me too bud." Kurt said after a moment. "You be good ok?" he said, ruffling the child's hair.

"I'm always good." Fletcher replied matter of factly.

Jane grinned.

"We will see you again." she said.

"Bye bye." Fletcher said, swinging his legs back and forward.

Kurt and Jane smiled at him one more time, before leaving the cubicle.

When they were in the hallway, Jane's face fell.

"That poor boy." she whispered softly. "Poor all of them. None of them deserve this."

"No they don't." Kurt agreed. They walked in silence back to the car. "I better call Patterson and fill her in." he said, once they were seated.

Jane nodded and watched him dial Patterson's number.

She answered on the third ring. Kurt flicked her onto speaker phone so they could both talk to her.

"How did you get on at the hospital?" she asked.

"Good." Kurt replied. He started relaying the information they had gathered back to her. "We are gonna head back to Anna Lee's house to find this picture of Tyler… at least this way we will know who we are looking for."

"Ok." Patterson replied. "What about the man who took her?"

"Fletcher said he had a beard and spoke funny…" Jane said. "I'm wondering if he has ties to the Irish Mob."

"I was thinking the same thing." Kurt added. "Patterson, dig up everything you can on the mob. See if you can find any ties in conjunction with Anna Lee. There had to be a reason she was charged in the first place."

"On it." Patterson responded. "Send me a picture of Tyler when you get it and I will put out a missing person's." she added.

"Will do." Kurt acknowledged. "We'll see you back at the office soon."

He disconnected the call and looked at his wife. She could see the heartbreak in his eyes.

"We will find her Kurt." she said adamantly, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince. Surely there was going to be a happy ending to this story. There just had to be.

**Please let me know your thoughts! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next installment. Sorry it has taken me so long to update!**

**Special thanks to lurkingwhump and indelibleevidence for your encouragement!**

**I would appreciate any feedback!**

**Small warning for language.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

It had been eighteen hours and they still hadn't made any progress on finding Tyler. Anna Lee wasn't talking and there weren't any new leads.

Kurt hadn't left the office once, not to eat, not to sleep and Jane was very quickly getting worried about him. She could see how on edge he was, how frustrated he was getting. He always got like this on cases with missing children - though by now, they at least had some kind of lead.

He was in interrogation again, trying to get Anna Lee to at least give him a scrap of something. Jane watched from behind the two way glass, her own nerves heightening as she watched her husband getting angrier and angrier.

Kurt slammed the palm of his hand onto the steel table, before growling under his breath and leaving the room. Anna Lee just looked bored.

Jane left the viewing room to meet him in the corridor.

"Kurt…" she said quietly, touching him softly on his bicep. She could feel the tension in his rigid muscles. He allowed the touch for a short moment, before shaking her off. He was too high strung to let even her touch him.

"We don't have anything." he seethed. "She's not budging. She doesn't care what happens to her so I have nothing to push her with!"

Jane sighed.

"Kurt… it's late. There's nothing more we can do tonight… please… let me take you home."

Kurt flared his nostrils. He knew she was right. He was hungry and exhausted… but he just didn't feel right leaving.

He shook his head.

"No, I-"

"Kurt please… it's been a rough day… for both of us…" she mumbled, looking at the floor.

He paused for a moment, taking in the shattered form of his wife.

"Ok Jane…" he replied. "We'll go home for a little while."

Jane's shoulders relaxed in relief. Truth be told, she really needed to leave this day behind her. She wanted to go home and get some sleep and come back tomorrow with a clear head, and she knew Kurt would be able to function better himself with some food and sleep.

She took him by the arm. He tensed again at her touch, and a small seed of doubt started to settle in her head. She eyed him wearily, but he wouldn't look at her.

"Come on." he said quietly, leading her out of the office, towards the parking garage.

When they got home, Jane made them a quick dinner while Kurt showered.

They ate in silence, a notable tension filling the room.

"Kurt?" Jane asked, wondering why he was being so cold towards her.

He looked across at her in deep thought.

"Kurt?" she asked again.

He sighed, his face softening a little.

"You should get some sleep." he said quietly. "You look exhausted. I'll clean up."

Jane frowned, biting her lip in confusion. She knew how these cases got to him, but he wasn't usually this impassive towards her.

"I'll come to bed soon." he continued.

Quietly, Jane stood from the table. She blinked at him before making her way towards their room.

"I love you…" she said unsurely.

"Love you too." he replied, offering a small smile, but he couldn't bring himself to allow it to reach his eyes.

She paused in the doorway for a moment longer, before leaving for the bedroom.

If she hadn't been so tired, she wouldn't have been able to sleep, but she was exhausted right to her very core, both physically and mentally.

* * *

Jane woke in the middle of the night, only to discover an empty bed and cold sheets. Frowning, she got out of bed, looking for her husband.

"Kurt?" she called softly, padding down the hallway, into the living room.

He was sitting on the couch, head bowed, a half empty bottle of scotch sitting in front of him.

"Kurt?" Jane asked again, when she received no response.

She walked around so she was standing in front of him. He was looking through old photographs, and with a lump in her throat, she realised they were the photos of Taylor. She had given the photos back to him, shortly after returning from the blacksite.

She sat down beside him, placing her hand softly on his shoulder.

"Are you ok?" she whispered softly.

He frowned, fingering the photograph.

"It's been four years." he muttered, his voice hoarse.

"Four-"

"It's been four years since I found her body." he said, cutting her off.

"Oh." she replied softly, at a loss of what to say to him. She sat down on the coffee table in front of him, waiting for him to speak.

"So that means it's also been four years since my father died..." He looked up at her, a frown plastered on his face. "...and four years since you killed Oscar." His tone was accusatory.

Jane bit her lip, slightly taken aback. Why did he need to bring that up? It had been years and they had reconciled over her deceit and moved on… or so she had thought.

"Kurt-"

"What are you doing here Jane?" Kurt asked, cutting her off again.

"What do you mean?" Jane asked, confused. "You're my husband… you weren't in bed…"

Kurt sighed.

"Go back to bed Jane…" he murmured quietly, looking back down at the photo he was holding.

Jane frowned, blinking in bewilderment. What had she done to make him suddenly act this way? She knew he was stressed about the case… he always was when there were missing kids… but this one was a little closer to home. The wee girl's name was Tyler for God's sake… and now that Kurt had told her it was the anniversary of him finding her body, she knew he had to be hurting. What she couldn't understand was why he was shutting her out.

Making a decision, she wordlessly moved back to the bedroom, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. After only a moment's hesitation, she dialled the number she never thought she would again.

He picked up on the second ring.

"Jane?" he asked.

"I need you." she whispered quietly, hoping she wasn't making a massive mistake.

* * *

Jane lay in bed the rest of the night, not able to fall asleep again. Kurt never made it to bed.

At six am she sighed, throwing back the covers and making her way to the bathroom, hoping a shower would help wake her up.

When she emerged in the living room, she found it empty. The photos and scotch had been cleared away, almost as if last night had been a dream. Though going by the feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew it had most definitely happened.

Jane noticed a note on the kitchen counter and picked it up.

'Couldn't sleep. Went in early.'

She sighed, putting the note back on the counter. He had gone in without her. Since they had lived together, this was the first time they hadn't driven in together.

She bit her lip, trying to swallow back the wave of tears that threatened to spill over. He had never made her feel this way before. She knew he was hurting, but she also knew that she didn't deserve for him to take it out on her.

Sniffing, she cleared her throat and grabbed her keys, deciding that breakfast wasn't an option, as the emotional turmoil was upsetting her stomach.

* * *

She arrived at work and went to the locker room. It was empty. She exhaled in relief. She was really nervous about seeing him.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out, answering straight away when she saw the called I.D.

"Clem…" she said, "Please tell me you've got something."

"One of my contacts just called." he replied, getting to business straight away. "He has strong ties with the mob. Said that a Gary Andersen fits the description and that it's possible he's keeping the girl at a warehouse in Queens."

"Thank you." she breathed. God she hoped he was right.

"No problem Janey…" he replied. "You know I'm always here to help you."

Jane stayed silent, unsure how to respond to that.

"I'll send you the address." he continued, choosing to ignore her silence.

"Thank you again." Jane said, finding her voice.

"Anytime…" he paused for a moment. "You take care of yourself."

Jane stared at her shoes.

"You too Clem." she replied, just as Kurt walked into the locker room. Jane stared at him wide eyed. She knew that he wouldn't be happy at her at all about contacting Clem, yet she had chosen to as she had felt desperate. She didn't know anyone else who had the contacts that he did.

The expression on his face settled like lead in the bottom of her belly.

She hung up the phone, waiting for Kurt to react.

"Clem?" he whispered. "You rang Clem?"

Jane nodded softly. She could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Kurt…" she said shakily, "I was only trying to help."

"Help?" Kurt scoffed. "You should have been able to come to me. Instead you went to someone who you fucked."

"Kurt… I thought-"

"You know you never even apologized for cheating on me." Kurt interrupted. "You were too busy hating me for what happened with Avery, you never even said sorry for breaking our wedding vows."

Jane's eyes widened.

"Kurt… you know I thought I could never come home."

Kurt frowned, clearly angry and about to completely lose his cool.

"There you go again. Just making excuses. Playing innocent." Kurt shook his head. "You know what? I don't have time for this. I've got a missing child to find."

He pushed past her, storming out of the locker room. Jane, after a stunned moment, chased after him.

"Kurt please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you." he seethed. "I don't even want to look at you right now." he almost yelled, walking away from her again.

Jane stared after him. The feeling of guilt, remorse and anger bubbling up inside her.

Her phone buzzed with an address. She stared down at it with watery eyes.

'Please let this be the place.' she thought. She had risked her marriage in contacting Clem, she just hoped that it paid off. If they didn't find the girl there, she had no idea what she was going to do.

Inhaling deeply through her nose, she strode towards Reade's office. She couldn't take the information to Kurt, so she knew that he was the next best thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**And here is Chapter 4.**

**I've taken the liberty of filling a bingo square "communication suddenly cut off"**

**Lots of angst in this chapter. Warnings for fowl language. **

**As always, thank you to lurkingwhump for collaborating with me on the project. I hope it's everything that you wanted!**

Jane and Reade met the rest of the team in Patterson's lab. He had given her a slightly confused look when she had entered his office and told him about the phone call with Clem. Usually she would take any new information directly to Kurt.

She explained everything with a shaky voice, her last encounter with Kurt still playing on her mind.

After hearing what she had to say, she and Reade made their way to Patterson's office to clue everyone in and make a plan.

Kurt wouldn't even look at her when she walked in the room. She stood to the side, away from everyone else, her arms hugging her middle.

"Jane has just brought to my attention that the girl may be being held at a warehouse in Queens." Reade said, addressing the team. "I want SWAT there with you. If this is the mob we don't know what we're walking into."

"How did you get the information?" Tasha asked.

At Jane's silence, and the death glare Kurt was shooting her, Reade answered diplomatically.

"An ex colleague of Jane's helped us out. He had a contact in the mob who has identified the man as Gary Andersen."

"Send us the address." Kurt said flatly, before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

Jane looked up at Reade with sad eyes. He gave her a sympathetic look before she left the room, following her husband to the locker room. He had already donned his vest by the time she got there.

When she walked into the room, he glared at her. He holstered his weapon then slammed his locker door, moving to leave without even speaking to her.

"Kurt, please-" she whispered.

He spun on his heel.

"Please what, Jane?" he seethed. "First you call Clem. _Clem…_ the man you… the man you defiled our marriage with…" He was visibly shaking. "...and then when you do get the information, instead of coming to me, you go to Reade."

Jane looked at him incredulously.

"How was I meant to go to you when your having trouble to even look at me?" she asked, her voice starting to rise. "You've been completely unreasonable towards me throughout this whole case!"

He frowned, his anger clearly surfacing.

"Me? I've been unreasonable?"

"Yes. You." she shot back. "Why do you think I called Clem in the first place?"

"I don't know? Maybe you wanted to fuck him again?"

Her mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God! Now you're just acting like a child!"

His nostrils flared at that. He took a deep breath, seemingly to try to calm himself down.

"I called Clem because I want my husband back! The way you've treated me the last twenty four hours is actually disgusting! I just want this case solved so you stop being such an arsehole!" she shouted.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"God you always make everything about you, don't you?" he growled. "Did you ever think that maybe this case is hard for me? It's digging up all of the pain from Taylor all over again. And what happened with my father… and then what you did!" he pointed his finger at her. "You got Mayfair killed! She trusted you and you got her killed!"

Jane's eyes widened. She shook her head in disbelief.

"After all this time..." She paused. "After all this time you still haven't let any of that go." she said quietly.

"I-I shouldn't have said that." he stammered, regretting the words the moment they escaped his lips.

"No… no you shouldn't have... not if you didn't mean it…" she said looking up at him. "As for calling Clem," she continued. "I'm not sorry I contacted him. He may have helped us find this little girl. You can be mad at me all you like but if I had the choice I would do it again!"

He glared at her, his eye twitching in rage. Clem was definitely a sore spot for him.

"And what about fucking him?" he asked, his voice starting to rise again. "If you had the chance to go back, would you do that again?"

"You know what?" Jane said, her voice rising an octave. "Yeah. Yeah I would. I'm sorry that it hurt you. Truly I am. But I didn't think I was ever going to come home…" she said, her hands dropping to her sides. "Plus that's all it was. A mindless fuck. It didn't mean anything. Not then. Not now."

"Well it meant something to me!" he yelled, stepping towards her.

Jane pursed her lips.

"I just wish you would think about someone other than yourself for once!" he said flatly.

Tasha chose that moment to walk into the locker room to gear up. She took in the scene in front of her and stopped in her tracks.

"Is everything ok in here?" she asked hesitantly. "I can come back?"

"No we're done." Jane said flatly, grabbing her vest and weapon from her locker and slamming it. She pushed past Kurt and stormed out of the room.

Kurt stood still for a moment after, scowling after her.

Tasha crept past him, stopping at her locker.

"Don't even ask." he said before she got the chance.

She put her hands up.

"Wasn't gonna." she replied, opening her locker and sticking her head inside so she couldn't see him any longer.

* * *

They arrived at the warehouse and gathered outside.

"Right I'll lead Alpha team in through the front. You take Bravo team through the rear." he waved at Jane, not even looking at her when he spoke to her.

There was no way he could work with her at the moment, especially in a potentially volatile situation. He couldn't trust that either of them wouldn't get distracted.

She gave a curt not, which he saw out of the corner of his eye. He watched her signal to her team, before they departed toward the back entrance.

He motioned for his team to follow him, moving towards the front entrance. They entered the warehouse quietly. It was dusty and seemingly abandoned.

They fanned out, clearing the offices and behind crates as they went.

He was about to call his team off, when the sound of gunshots started reverberating through the warehouse. It was coming from the back where Bravo team would be.

"What's going on back there?" Kurt yelled, running through the warehouse towards the gunshots. He was met with silence through the comms. "Does anyone copy?" he yelled again.

Still nothing.

"Patterson?" he exclaimed.

"I've lost bravo team. Their comms have been disconnected. There must be a short range scrambler!" Came Patterson's voice through his earpiece.

The sounds of the gunshots were growing louder. Kurt continued sprinting through the warehouse, his team following closely behind.

"Can anyone read us?" suddenly came a staticky voice through his earpiece. "I've found and disabled the scrambler." came the same voice, this time a little clearer.

"I read you!" Kurt yelled. "I'm on my way!"

There were more gunshots.

"Agent down!" One of the swat guys yelled through the static. "I repeat, Agent Doe is down!"

"Jane?" Kurt asked through comms. When he didn't get a response his heart rate picked up. "Jane!" he called more desperately.

He ran into the room that the gunshots had been the loudest. He couldn't see Jane, but he could see a man he didn't recognise, running towards him wearing an FBI vest. Before he knew it, there was a pistol pointed at his head.

Kurt didn't hesitate, shooting the man before he was shot himself. He paused briefly, taking in the crumpled form of the only lead that would have lead them to Tyler.

A sickening feeling dropped in his stomach when he remembered the eerie words that had risen from the static. 'Agent Doe is down.'

"Jane!" he shouted. "Jane are you ok?!"

His heart dropped when he didn't receive a response from her. For her not to reply, she was either gravely injured - or…

No… he wouldn't allow himself to think that way.

"She's here Weller!" came Tasha's voice from behind a crate.

"Jane…" he whispered, before he took off towards Tasha. She had been on Bravo team with Jane. He rounded the corner, his breath catching when he took in the scene in front of him.

Jane was lying on the concrete floor pale and lifeless, a large puddle of blood blossoming out from under her. Tasha was crouched over her, clad only in her camosel. Her shirt was currently pressed firmly to the bloody wound on Jane's abdomen.

"Is she…" he asked, dropping to his knees beside Jane's head.

"She's alive." was all Tasha said to him. She swallowed thickly. Kurt crawled forward, placing his hands over Tasha's.

"I need you to get in contact with Patterson and get a chopper sent here." he said in what would be his last rational thought for a while.

Tasha nodded and moved away to update Patterson.

Kurt looked down at his bloody hands, the blood rising up through Tasha's shirt.

"Oh god Jane…" he whispered. One of the SWAT members had removed his vest and had taken his shirt off, offering it to Kurt. With a small nod of thanks, Kurt took the shirt and placed it on top of Tasha's, pressing down on the wound that was currently sucking the life out of his wife.

He pressed down harder, causing Jane to cry out in pain.

"Jane!" he called. "Jane, please open your eyes!"

Her face crumpled in pain, her eyes shooting open, a look of panic crossing her face when she tried to take a breath.

"Ssh ssh calm down!" he said soothingly as she gasped for breath. He internally cringed hearing the rasp to her breathing. The bullet must have damaged her lung.

"Kurt-" she cried. "Kurt it h-hurts." she stammered, breaking down in a choked sob.

"Ssshh… you're ok… you're ok…" he whispered, though he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.

Tasha returned to his side, placing her hands back onto the wound. Kurt took this opportunity to crawl up to Jane, cradling her head in his lap.

"There's a chopper on the way." Tasha said. "Patterson had already called for one when she heard that Jane had been shot and then when she didn't respond…"

Kurt nodded his thanks, before returning his attention back to his wife. Her eyes were heavy and had started rolling into the back of her head.

"Jane… Jane please stay with me." he pleaded, trying to hold back his own tears. He was losing her… he was losing her and the only thing he could think of was the last thing he had said to her.

She coughed, blood bubbling up through her mouth, running down the side of her face.

Her head fell to the side as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Jane! Jane please! Stay with me baby..."

She was still in his arms. Her breaths coming out short, sharp and raspy. She was drowning in her own blood.

"Oh god…" he whispered. "Jane you can't…" He grabbed her limp hand, bringing it up to his face. "Please… I can't live without you…"


	5. Chapter 5

**And here is chapter 5. Sorry this took a bit longer to post than I promised some of you. Life happened. **

**Lots of angst ahead… though by now I'm sure you're all waiting for it. **

"Patterson! Where the hell is that chopper?" Kurt shouted through comms. Jane hadn't regained consciousness. She was struggling to breathe and the bleeding had slowed - which wasn't a good thing - it meant that she had lost too much blood, and judging by the puddle on the ground and the amount soaked into the shirts Kurt was pressing to her wound, she didn't have much time left.

"ETA is 30 seconds." Came Patterson voice through his earpiece.

Just as she said that, Kurt could hear the thud of the propellers flying over head. There was a large field by the warehouse, so there was no worry about them landing.

The paramedics arrived on site, running through the warehouse with their gurney and medikit. Tasha waved them over and even they were slightly taken aback at the scene that greeted them.

They quickly assessed the situation, dropping to their knees beside her. The lead paramedic quickly took her pulse.

"Right get her on the gurney." he said urgently. "We will have to try and stabilise her in transit… we don't have enough time to do it before we leave."

He brought the gurney down to floor level and as a unit, they lifted Jane smoothly, getting her ready for transfer. One paramedic started strapping her on and lifting the gurney back to it's original height, while the other started ripping packets of gauze open, replacing the blood soaked shirts. He threw them on the floor and they landed in the cold concrete with a wet splat.

Kurt knew that Tasha would stay and secure the scene and complete the search of the warehouse for the girl. Wordlessly, Kurt got on the gurney, straddling Jane's hips as he replaced the medics hands with his own. He knew that they needed to keep pressure applied and it would take both of them to control the gurney in order to get her out of the maze-like warehouse quickly.

She wasn't moving. She wasn't even reacting to pain anymore. She was pale, cold and limp. Kurt took a deep breath, trying to push any dark thoughts to the back of his mind so he could focus on the task at hand.

They got out to the helicopter and loaded her in. Once on board, Kurt moved to the back of the chopper so the medics could work. He knew he wasn't meant to accompany them, but there was no way he was leaving her. The pilot took off quickly, time was not on their side.

He watched as one put an oxygen mask on her face and started a line, while the other started taking her obs. He grit his teeth, trying to keep control of his emotions. He couldn't lose her.

The flight to the hospital was the longest seven minutes of his life. Her heart rate and blood pressure were all over the place.

Just as they were coming in to land, she coded.

"We've lost her!" The lead medic shouted. Starting compressions!"

"Jane?" Kurt asked urgently, leaning forward. "Jane!"

Right now… right now she was dead. His wife. His beautiful wife. He may have just lost her and the last conversation they had, they had been yelling at each other.

Guilt and shame settled into the pit of his stomach, and grief settled into his heart.

The helicopter landed. There was a trauma team waiting for them. One of the doctors got onto the gurney, continuing compressions, while another jumped on the other side, continuing with keeping pressure on her wound.

Kurt scrambled out of the helicopter, running after the team. They whisked her down the corridor, yelling at people to get out of the way.

They reached the trauma bay and pushed her through the double doors. A nurse put her hand on Kurt's chest.

"Sorry dear, but you can't go any further." she said briskly, but kindly, before turning and running through the doors to join the team in trying to save Jane's life.

Kurt stood in the corridor, watching the doors swing in their wake.

He stood there, covered in his wife's blood, the sudden silence crashing down on him in waves.

"Sir?" a voice asked. "Sir are you alright?"

It was in that moment that Kurt realised he had been holding his breath. He turned to look at the orderly and realised he must look a sight. He didn't know what to say, because no, no he wasn't ok.

The orderly sensed this anyway, offering a hand of comfort.

"There's a private bathroom down the hall that you can use to clean up, if you like." she said gently, leading him away from the triage bay.

He begrudgingly turned to walk with her, his heart telling him he should stay where he was, but his head telling him he really needed to wash his wife's blood off of him.

"Here, you go in here and get cleaned up, I'll find you a pair of scrubs you can get changed into."

Kurt nodded his thanks, walking into the private bathroom quietly.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw his reflection. There was blood everywhere. Up his arms, over the torso of his shirt, on his forehead.

Jane's lifeless body flashed into his mind.

"Oh god…" he choked. He drew in a shuddering breath, suddenly unable to hold his emotions back. His whole body started shaking in grief and shock. The blood crusted to his skin was stifling, burning into his skin.

He turned on the faucet, pumping soap onto his hand as quickly as possible. He scrubbed his hands and arms until they were raw and even then he could still feel the blood, hot and sticky, coving his skin.

Rage coursed through him as the grief and guilt overwhelmed him. He picked up the nail brush, that had turned red with her blood, and threw it across the room, falling to his knees with a yell.

"Jane!" he cried out, before he dissolved into a fit of tears. "Oh Jane…"

He felt a hand on his shoulder, but was too overwhelmed with grief to react.

"Here dear." The old woman said. She gently passed him the scrubs, before leaving him alone again.

He didn't move, for what felt like hours. After what had really only been a few minutes, he hoisted himself off the floor, changing into the fresh pair of scrubs. He disposed of his blood soaked clothes into the toxic waste bin and moved to find out what had happened to his wife.

When he got to reception, he almost turned around. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear what had happened. To confirm his greatest fear… that she had died. That she was never coming back.

"Sir?" the lady at reception asked again. He hadn't heard her the first time.

"Ah… Jane Doe?" he said with a shaky voice. "She was just brought in by helicopter… I'm her… I'm her husband." He stammered.

The nurse searched the computer, before looking up at him.

"A doctor will be along to update you shortly." she said, and Kurt could see the grief in her eyes.

He nodded quietly. He could have gone off at her, begging for her to tell him herself. To tell him _now_, but he still wasn't ready to hear those words. Not yet.

He walked back to the waiting room and sat down, hanging his head. The last time he had spoken to his wife, they had been screaming at each other. He had been so mad. They had both said some unforgivable things. But he didn't know then that that would be the last time he would ever speak to her.

"Oh Jane… I'm so sorry." he whispered. He brought his hands up to his face, biting back the tears that were threatening to overcome him again.

He was broken out of his thoughts, by the ringing of his phone.

"Weller." he answered gruffly.

"Kurt! How's Jane?" It was Patterson.

He cleared his throat, but otherwise stayed silent.

"Oh god… she's not…?"

"I don't know." he replied quietly. "She coded in the chopper… I haven't heard anything since."

"Oh Kurt…" He could hear the despair in her voice.

He didn't know what to say to her. Jane was her family too. This would break all of them.

"Reade and Tasha have a lead on where Tyler might be…" she continued. "They received a call from… well from…" she paused.

"From Clem?" he asked shortly.

"Yeah…" Patterson answered nervously.

"Ok…" was all he replied. "Keep me updated."

"There's something else you should hear…" She said.

"What's that?" He wasn't sure he could take much more today. He was close to breaking point as it was. He was in complete denial.

"Jane didn't have her vest, because she gave it to the shooter."

"I know that." Kurt replied, "That's why I had to shoot him in the head."

"Yeah but she removed it to save one of the younger SWAT guys…"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sitting forward.

"The shooter was going to kill him, because he was too scared to give away his vest… it was his first op… anyway Jane stepped in and give him her vest instead. Things went south and the shooter had SWAT guy at gunpoint. Jane went to charge at him and that's when he shot her."

Kurt was silent for a moment. She had sacrificed herself. That's why she was shot…

"Thanks for telling me…" he whispered.

"Please let us know what's happening with Jane… the moment you hear something." Patterson said. She almost sounded desperate.

"I will." he choked out. He hung up the phone before he lost his resolve completely. All he could think about was the last words he said to her. 'I just wish that you would think about someone other than yourself for once.'

His last words may have gotten her killed.

He shook his head.

Even if he hadn't have said that to her, he knew that she would have done the same. She was selfless. She was always doing things to try and keep others safe.

His heart constricted and before he knew it, he was crying into his hands.

* * *

It was over twenty minutes later that a doctor came to see Kurt.

"Kurt Weller?" he asked.

Kurt nodded.

"I'm doctor Thompson." he introduced himself.

Kurt looked up at the doctor, biting the inside of his cheek. He wasn't ready… though he wasn't sure he ever would be ready, to hear that his wife had died.

The doctor came and sat beside him.

"Jane was very sick when she came to us… she had lost a lot of blood."

Kurt's heart sank. No no no no no no no….

"We got her heart started again, she is currently in surgery."

He choked.

"She's alive?" he whispered.

The doctor nodded.

"She is… but Kurt I have to warn you… her chances of survival are dim… if she makes it through the surgery, the next 48 hours are crucial."

Kurt swallowed. He had just been told that she was alive, only to have that ripped away again. She might not even survive the next ten minutes.

"I'll update you when I can." The doctor said.

Kurt shook his hand.

"Thank you."

The doctor nodded, then left the room, leaving Kurt by himself again.

He was about to pull out his phone to ring Patterson, when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Kurt…?" came a soft voice.

He looked up to see a blonde head and large blue eyes staring back at him.

"Patterson." he whispered.

She strode into the room, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"I left the moment I hung up the phone." she said quietly. "I… I didn't want you to be alone."

He looked at her gratefully.

"Have you heard anything yet?" she asked hesitantly. She wasn't sure she wanted to know that answer.

"She's in surgery." he replied. "Though… the doctor said that there's a high chance she won't make it through the surgery."

Patterson's face fell.

She reached out and took Kurt's hand. It was going to be a long and arduous wait. The worst part was knowing that there was nothing that they could do to help. All they could do was wait and that was the hardest part.

At least they could wait together. Right now, they didn't have to be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is chapter 6. The chapter is a bit shorter than the rest but I wanted to get this updated ASAP. I go back to work full time from next friday, so I am trying to get as much done before then. **

**Sorry about all the angst. I hope you are all enjoying this nevertheless. **

Kurt and Patterson had been waiting together for over an hour, before her phone rang.

Kurt watched her answer it, only mildly interested in what was happening with the case. He was still really worried about the girl, but on the other hand, his heart just wasn't in the case anymore. His heart was with Jane on that table, begging her to live.

Patterson's eyes lit up.

"Really? Oh that's great news! Ok! Keep me updated!" she said. She paused while - Tasha he presumed - said something. Her face fell. She must have been asking her about Jane. "She's ah… they're doing everything they can… we haven't heard anything for a while. She stole a worried glance at Kurt. "Ok you too." She hung up the phone and turned to face Kurt.

"They've found the girl." she said happily, though the joy didn't reach her eyes. Even with the relief of finding Tyler, there was such an underlying sadness.

Kurt felt his heart pick up a little at those words. He hadn't felt anything but crushing grief since Jane had been shot. But hearing that they had found the little girl, meant that it hadn't all been for nothing.

"Is she ok?" he asked, his voice incredibly hoarse from crying earlier.

Patterson nodded.

"They found her at Gary Andersen's address. That's why Clem rang… he had managed to track down where the guy lived… anyway she's fine. He had been keeping her in the cellar, but she had been fed and watered." she paused. "It looked like he was taking pretty good care of her… but from the intel we received, he was gearing up to auction her off." Patterson spat the last part out in disgust.

Kurt's lip curled back, a low growl settling in his throat. How could someone do something so evil, to someone so pure and innocent.

"I'm glad they found her." he said quietly. Now he didn't have that nagging debt that he felt he owed her… now he could just focus on his poor Jane.

It was another few hours before they heard anything. Kurt was going out of his mind. Patterson had kept reminding him that no news was good news, but he just couldn't stop thinking the worst.

It had been six hours since he had heard anything, before Doctor Thomson reappeared in the doorway. He looked exhausted, yet hopeful.

Kurt sprung to his feet.

"How is she?" he asked, unable to hold it back any longer.

"She's critical… but she's alive." he replied tiredly.

Kurt released a shuddering breath. Alive… she was alive!

He collapsed back into his chair and Patterson put her hand on his shoulder.

The doctor took a seat beside them.

"As you know when Jane was brought to us, she was in a very critical state. She has two gunshot wounds. One bullet hit her right lung, which resulted in us having to do a lobectomy. That is where we remove a section of her lung. It was too damaged to repair." He ran his fingers through his hair. "The second bullet perforated her spleen, causing the hemorrhage."

"That's what caused her to lose so much blood?" Patterson asked.

The doctor nodded.

"We couldn't control the bleeding, so we had to remove her spleen… the moment we removed it, her levels started stabilizing."

Kurt reached out and shook his hand.

"Thank you." he choked, nearly losing the fight with his emotions.

"As I said earlier, the next forty eight hours are crucial. If she makes it through them without any hiccups, she will hopefully make a full recovery."

Kurt exhaled through his nose.

"When can I see her?" he asked, almost desperately.

"She's in recovery at the moment, and will be moved up to the ICU within the hour. I'll have someone come and get you once she is settled."

Kurt nodded his thanks. He needed to see her… needed to see for himself that she was alive. The last time he had seen her, they had been performing CPR. The last time he had seen her, she had been dead.

The doctor left.

Patterson blew out a lungful of air, reaching out and taking his hand.

At least she was alive… even if she was critical, at least they had a fighting chance.

"I'm going to get you a sandwich." she said quietly, knowing he needed a little bit of time alone to process. She also knew that he had refused to eat or drink anything since she had arrived.

He didn't answer her, but she could see the grateful look in his eyes. She squeezed him on the shoulder, before getting up and leaving for the cafeteria.

The next hour felt as if it took longer than the previous six combined. Now that he knew she had made it through the surgery, all he wanted to do was run to her side.

Patterson had returned with the sandwich, and he choked it down. It tasted like sawdust in his mouth, but he knew he needed to eat if he had any chance of looking after Jane.

Finally, a nurse came to collect them and take them up to the ICU. On the way up there, Kurt's nerves set in with a vengeance, the sandwich at serious risk of making a reappearance. As they got to the ICU, the nurse turned and looked at them.

"I must warn you, this will come as a bit of a shock. We have her sedated for now and she is on a ventilator to help rest her lung." she said softly.

Kurt eyed the nurse wearily. He had been nervous as it was, but now he was just flat out petrified.

They stopped outside a separate room, Jane's name written one whiteboard on the door.

"I…I…" he stammered, his feet suddenly rooted to the ground.

"It's ok Kurt…" Patterson said softly, her hand on the back on his shoulder. "Go to her… I will be right outside."

Kurt looked over his shoulder at her, sincere gratefulness in his eyes. He took a deep breath, then opened the door quietly.

What he saw behind that door stole his breath away. She looked almost unrecognizable. She looked small and frail in the bed, covered in layers of warming blankets. Wires snakes out from every angle of her battered body, attached to machines and fluids. Her face was so pale, he could see the veins running under her skin.

Though the most unnerving part about it all was the ventilator. It whirred and hissed in a deafening serenade in an otherwise quiet room.

"Oh Jane…" Kurt whispered. He crept quietly into the room, approaching the bed with unease. He looked her up and down, tears threatening to spill over. He reached out to hold her hand, but hesitated, too scared he might hurt her.

The nurse had been watching him from the doorway.

"You can hold her hand." she said softly. "Talk to her. They say hearing a loved ones voice can help them heal."

Kurt gave a curt nod at the nurse, before clearing his throat.

"Ah… hey, Jane…" he whispered softly. "You have no idea how worried I've been… I thought…" his voice broke, "I thought I lost you."

Tears started running down his face. He sat down on a chair beside her bed and reached out, taking her pinkie finger delicately between his thumb and forefinger. He was too scared to hold her hand properly, too scared he might hurt her, or disturb one of the lines protruding from her skin.

"Jane… Jane I'm so sorry… for the way I acted… for what I said." He hung his head. "I didn't mean any of it…"

The only answer he got was the whirring of the machines keeping her alive.

"Life is so fragile… so if you get through this… if you just keep fighting… I promise I will do everything in my power to give you the best life. I'll give you everything you want… just please be ok."

He leaned down, resting his head on the side of the bed, his forehead touching her thigh.

"Just keep fighting Jane. Just keep fighting… because I will not lose you… I can't"

0000000000000

Kurt must have dozed off because he was woken by the blaring of alarms.

"Jane?" he cried out as doctors and nurses came running into the room. "What's happening?" he cried.

"Sir please wait outside." A nurse said quickly, staring him out of the room, before shutting the curtain in his face.

"Jane!" he cried. God this wasn't happening… it couldn't be.

He was redirected to a different waiting room to the one he was in earlier. Patterson had long gone home, so this time he was left to wait by himself.

There was no way he would ever forgive himself if she were to die. There was no way he would ever be able to live with himself. She was his world, and without her… he was nothing.

All he could do was wait. Wait and see if she was going to pull through or not. That was definitely the hardest part. Knowing he couldn't help her. Knowing he couldn't fix this.

He sat there by himself, his grief and guilt crushing him, making it hard for him to breathe.

She had to pull through… she just had to.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! **

**I've finally managed to write enough for it to be considered long enough to be a chapter xD **

**Sorry for leaving you all on such an evil cliffhanger. **

**Thank you to my wonderful lurkingwhump for helping me structure this chapter. As always I'm so grateful for your help.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and would appreciate any feedback or ideas! **

Kurt waited with his head in his hands. He had gone from pacing, to being too utterly drained to even move. He was completely spent, both physically and emotionally.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had been ushered out of Jane's room, but so far, he hadn't heard anything.

He had managed to flick a quick message to the team, updating them on Jane - though there wasn't much he could really tell them, when he himself did not know what was happening.

Another twenty minutes passed, before a doctor he didn't recognize entered the otherwise empty waiting room.

"Kurt Weller?" she asked, approaching him.

He raised his head from his hands, too overwhelmed to speak.

The doctor took this as confirmation and took a seat beside him.

"I'm Doctor Murphy." she introduced herself. "Doctor Thompson has taken Jane back into surgery."

'Well at least she wasn't dead ' Kurt thought to himself.

At Kurt's silence, she continued.

"Jane's blood pressure dropped dramatically - an indication she had started hemorrhaging internally again. They've had to open her up again, to try and stop the bleed."

Kurt nodded, still unable to form words. His brain was whirring with all of the possibilities that Jane might not make it out of this alive. Doctor Thompson had said the first forty eight hours were crucial to her recovery… did this mean because she had gone backwards, that her survival rate was even slimmer than before?

"Do you have any questions?" Doctor Murphy asked sympathetically. Her eyes were kind, and Kurt could tell that she genuinely cared for her patients.

He shook his head, unable to ask what Jane's new odds of survival were.

She patted him on the shoulder.

"Ok." she said standing up. "Someone will be back to update you as soon as possible." She offered a small smile, which Kurt could not find in himself to return, not even to be polite.

The doctor left the room, leaving him alone again.

Being alone in that hospital waiting room, he felt the dark thoughts starting to close in on him. The guilt was starting to crush him. He had never in their relationship, spoken to Jane like that before. Not even when she got back from the blacksite and he couldn't even bare to be in the same room as her. Even then, he had at least tried to treat her with a level of professionalism. Though this time, she was his wife.

There was no need to treat her with kiddy gloves and because of that, when the rage surfaced in regards to Clem, he didn't even try to hold back.

He had been so worked up about finding the girl, that he had been blind to what was right in front of him. Jane really had just been trying to help… even Kurt knew that Clem had contacts all over the world - he was almost as well connected as Nas.

But all he had been able to see, was her naked, sprawled out on top of a man that wasn't him and all of the hurt and pain had come crashing back down.

Working this case had definitely dragged up some painful memories, and he was ashamed that he had chosen to take it out on his wife. Especially when he knew that this case had caused some painful memories of her own to surface. The state of the basement, had been similar to the orphanage she and her brother had grown up in - but he had been so wrapped up in his own emotions, he hadn't even considered how she must be feeling.

Now she could die… now he might never get a chance to say that he's sorry.

He hung his head in his hands again, feeling overcome with guilt.

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A couple more hours passed and Kurt still hadn't heard anything. He was about to lose his shit, when a familiar figure appeared in the doorway.

"Allie…" he whispered, relief washing over him in waves. He got to his feet and was pulled into a strong hug.

"I came as soon as I heard." she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Patterson called me last night before she left for the hospital… when she found out how bad Jane had been hurt, she thought you could use the support." she explain, as they both sat down on the hard hospital chairs.

"Thank you." he choked out sincerely.

"How is she doing?" Allie asked quietly, almost too afraid to hear what he might say. Patterson had told her Jane had been shot and that she had coded in the helicopter, but apart from that the extent of her injuries were unknown.

"Honestly… things aren't looking great." he said sadly. "She's back in theatre now… she started hemorrhaging internally again."

"Oh Kurt…" Allie said, placing a hand on his knee. "She's gonna be ok."

He shook his head, images of her lifeless body flashing through his mind.

"They've had to remove her spleen and a lobe of her lung… she's lost so much blood already…" he cleared his throat, choking back a sob. "They said the first forty eight hours were crucial to her recovery… but she's…" he looked up at Allie, his eyes welling up with grief. "I can't lose her Allie… I just can't." And with that he lost the battle and dissolved into a fit of tears.

"Oh come here." Allie murmured, reaching out and wrapping him in her arms. "It's gonna be ok Kurt." she said softly. "The two of you have been through too much for this to be the end." She let go of him, holding him at arm's length. Looking into his tear stricken eyes, she said, "You have to remain strong for her, ok? Jane needs you to stay strong."

He nodded softly, taking a deep breath to try and control his emotions. She reached out and wiped his tears off his face. She had never seen him like this before. The man sitting beside her was one she did not recognise. Sure, he looked like the Kurt Weller she knew and loved, but the broken look on his face was causing him to look like a stranger.

"Even if she does wake up… she's probably going to hate me anyway." he said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Allie cocked her head to the side.

"Now why would you say that?"

He hung his head

"We had an argument. Right before she got shot."

He looked at her confused expression and hung his head.

"We said some pretty hurtful things to each other."

Allie reached out and took his hand.

"Kurt… _when_ Jane wakes up… she's not going to care about a silly little fight. All she is going to care about is that she survived, and that you are right by her side."

Kurt looked gratefully up at his friend. The confidence in her voice had him believing what she was saying, could actually be true. His wife could wake up… she could forgive him. If they were to move forward from this they were going to have to forgive and forget - and honestly, after everything they had been through the last twenty four hours, that was definitely not going to be a problem for him.

"Thank you for coming, Allie." he said, his voice emotional.

"Of course." she replied matter of factly. "You and Jane are family."

He blew out a lungful of air.

"Did you bring Bethany?" he asked, both hopeful that she did and that she didn't.

Allie shook her head.

"I didn't think it was a good idea her seeing Jane like this. Connor said he can bring her later if necessary…"

Kurt let her words hang in the air.

He knew that Bee would be too young to understand what was happening with Jane, but if it came to it… he would love it if she got to say goodbye.

He shut down that part of his brain again, trying to focus on Allie's words from earlier. He had to remain strong for Jane. She was right. There was no point dwelling on the negatives until he had all of the answers.

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Doctor Thompson appeared in the doorway, looking disheveled, to say the least. Kurt jumped to his feet, approaching the doctor.

"How… how is she?" he stammered.

The doctor smiled softly.

"She pulled through." he replied, gesturing for them to take a seat.

Kurt collapsed back into his chair, relief washing over him. His emotions were so overwhelming, he thought he might cry again.

"We've managed to stabilize the bleeding… and honestly… she is doing really well… better than expected." the doctor offered them a small smile. "Your wife is one hell of a fighter."

Kurt managed a smile back at that.

"That she is." he agreed. "When can I see her?" he asked, hopeful that it would be soon.

"She will be transferred back to the ICU shortly. She's already been in recovery for about an hour." At seeing Kurt's slight frown, he added. "I apologize for not coming to update you sooner, but I wanted to stay with Jane to make sure she was doing alright."

Kurt nodded his appreciation. He was about to get his hackles up at not being notified the moment she was out of surgery, but he was grateful to the doctor for keeping a close eye on her.

"We will be keeping her sedated for the next forty eight hours, to give her body the best chance at healing." Doctor Thompson explained. "But my hopes are still high that she will make a full recovery."

"Thank you." Kurt said, offering his hand for the doctor to shake.

Doctor Thompson took his hand, giving a small nod. "Again these next forty eight hours are crucial. I don't want to lead you with false hope. She is still very unwell."

"Understood." Kurt said, knowing full well what could happen, should she start to bleed again. Her body would be exhausted. There was no way she could survive another surgery.

"Someone will be along soon to notify you when Jane has been transferred."

"Ok… thank you again." Kurt replied. How could one express the amount of gratitude he was currently feeling. The man had literally stood between Jane and death and managed to win. There was no way he could thank him enough for saving his wife's life yet again.

The doctor smiled a tired smile, before leaving Kurt and Allie alone again.

Kurt exhaled deeply, turning to look at Allie.

"I told you she would be ok." she said, earning a lighter expression to his face. Seeing the relief running through him was like a breath of fresh air.

"Allie… I-"

"Save it." she said, cutting him off. "You don't need to thank me again."

Kurt smirked sheepishly at her. She knew him far too well. Apart from Jane, she knew him better than anyone.

They sat in companionable silence, both relishing in the relief than Jane had pulled through the surgery. They both knew there was a long way to go to recovery, but the fact that Jane was 'one hell of a fighter' as the doctor had put it, had them almost hopeful that she would make it out of this alive.

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A nurse came to collect Kurt once Jane had been transferred. Allie opted to stay in the waiting room to give them some privacy.

Tentatively, Kurt approached her, reaching out and taking her pinky finger again.

"Oh Jane…" he murmured, taking a seat beside her. "You've gotta stop scaring me like that." Like before, his only response was the hiss of the ventilator. He reached out, brushing the hair off her face as gently as possible.

"I just wanted to say again… I'm so sorry about our argument… Allie says you'll forgive me… but I know you're probably gonna be pretty pissed off at me still… you're bloody stubborn that way." he chuckled quietly. "I need you to rest baby… rest and heal so you can wake up and be mad at me…" he paused for a second, taking in her pale features. "I don't care how angry you are at me when you wake up… so long as you do wake up."

He let a tear escape from his eye.

"No more Jane…" he begged. "I don't think I can take much more."

He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his stubbled face. He was exhausted, but there was no way he would be leaving Jane's side until he was literally escorted off the premises. He would use the power of his badge for as long as he possibly could.

"Sweet dreams, baby." he whispered, feeling the same sense of hopelessness that he had the last time he had said that to her. Though at least this time, the healing was up to her. There were no rare cells that needed to be found in order to save her life. He didn't think he had ever been more thankful that she was so stubborn.

He knew if she lived, it would be out of share willpower.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so so sorry it has taken me so long to update this fic. For those of you who are still with me, I really appreciate your support. Special thanks to lurkingwhump, guadalajara92 and indelibleevidence for encouraging me to get writing again. Because it's been so long, here's a short recap.**

_**'The team are called to a foster home under an anonymous tip, they find emaciated children in the floorboards and discover there is a missing child. Kurt takes the case to heart and trying to help, Jane calls Clem. Kurt and Jane end up having the worst fight of their marriage. **_

_**A tip from Clem leads them to a seemingly abandoned warehouse, where they come under fire. Jane is shot and codes in en route. After two surgeries, she pulls through and is transferred to the ICU.'**_

**I hope you guys enjoy this next update. I think there will only be one, maybe two more chapters left in this fic. **

It had been five days. The five longest days of his life. Kurt had barely been able to breathe for the first forty eight hours. He didn't have to use his badge against the staff in the end. A lot of the nurses had been a part of Jane's care when she was dying from the ZIP poisoning. They didn't have the heart to ask him to leave, even going as far as to bring him sandwiches and an endless supply of coffee.

Only when Jane defied the odds and survived the first two days, did Allie manage to convince Kurt to go home and have a shower and some sleep, with the promise that she wouldn't leave Jane's side while he was gone.

On day three, they removed her ventilator, swapping it out for a nasal cannula, providing humidified oxygen. Her levels were remaining strong. The doctors had chosen to administer fluids through an arterial line, deciding to play it safe with the amount of bloodloss she had suffered. They wanted to make sure her BP didn't drop.

Happy with her progress, they had started to lift her sedation on day four. She hadn't shown any signs of waking, but the doctors had assured Kurt that that was completely normal. Her body was exhausted. She had a long recovery ahead of her, and they wouldn't be surprised if she didn't wake up for a few more days.

Once again though, she had surprised them all. On the fifth day Kurt was sitting beside her, talking to her softly, when she squeezed his hand.

"Jane?" he asked, jumping to his feet and leaning over her. "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes twitched, her eyebrows furrowing. She let out a weak groan, swallowing heavily.

Kurt reached out pressing the call bell, before returning his attention to his wife.

"Jane?" he asked again.

She coughed weakly, grimacing at the pain the motion caused.

"K-" she tried, her voice croaky and thick. She swallowed again. "Kurt?" she managed to say, before cracking her eyes open.

Relief washed through Kurt with such force he nearly choked.

"Oh Jane…" he whispered, cupping her cheek.

She grimaced, exhaling slowly.

"W-wha?" she stammered weakly.

"You're in the ICU." Kurt replied softly. "You're gonna be ok…"

Jane closed her eyes in response. She was fading fast, her body completely exhausted. She let out a weak groan.

"Sssh…" he soothed, stroking her hair gently. "It's ok baby. Go back to sleep… you'll feel better when you wake."

Jane complied, drifting back into a healing sleep. A nurse came by moments later, switching off the call light and looking at Kurt expectantly.

"She woke up." Kurt said proudly, not taking his eyes off his little fighter.

The nurse's eyes widened. "I'll go notify the doctor!" she said quickly.

Kurt sat beside Jane, grinning from ear to ear. She had said his name. He had thought he would never hear her voice again, and then she had said his name. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

Doctor Thompson entered the room after a short time.

"The nurse said she woke up." the doctor said, an optimistic smile on his face.

Kurt nodded, still holding Jane's hand.

"What did she do?" Doctor Thompson asked, moving further into the room to read her obs. "I just want to check it wasn't just a reflex."

Kurt smiled again.

"She squeezed my hand and opened her eyes. Then she said my name."

The doctor's eyebrows raised at that.

"I've said it once… I'll say it again… that wife of yours, is a fighter." he replied.

"Yes she is." Kurt replied softly, gazing in awe at his wife. For the first time since this had all happened, nearly a week ago, Kurt felt a sense of hope.

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Since Jane had woken the first time, Kurt hadn't wanted to leave her side, in case she woke again. He didn't want her to wake up and he not be there. Both Patterson and Allie had come to visit briefly, offering to sit with Jane while he used the bathroom. They brought him food, encouraging him to eat. If he wanted to look after Jane, he needed to look after himself. He needed to keep his strength up.

She hadn't woken again throughout the night, her body too spent. It was around midday the next day, that her eyelids started twitching. She let out a weak groan, her hand coming up to her nasal cannula.

Kurt took her hand gently.

"Leave it." he whispered softly, reaching out with his free hand to press her buzzer.

Jane cracked her eyes open, swallowing thickly. She stared blindly for a moment, before blinking, her eyes searching. He moved into her field of vision, her sight finally resting on his face.

He reached out and stroked her face. "Hey baby." he murmured.

"Kurt." she whispered, too weak to use her voice.

He brought her fingers slowly to his mouth, kissing them delicately. His eyes welled up with tears, relief literally pouring out out him as he cried.

Jane frowned, not wanting him to be sad. She blinked questioningly at him, wanting him to tell her what was wrong. Her brain was too foggy to remember what had happened.

The doctor chose that moment to enter the room. Jane pulled her eyes away from her ailing husband, in search of answers.

"Jane." Doctor Thompson said standing over her. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you awake."

Jane raised her eyebrow. Communicating in facial cues didn't require as much energy. She caught the look the doctor gave Kurt, followed by his nod of confirmation.

"I'm Doctor Thompson." the doctor started. "You have been one hell of a fighter."

Jane frowned, still not able to remember what had happened. Had she gotten sick? Had the ZIP poisoning come back? Panic set in behind her eyes.

"What happened?" she managed to breathe out. She felt puffed… something didn't feel right within her chest.

"You were shot Jane." Kurt muttered, his shame and guilt rising in the pit of his stomach.

Jane furrowed her brow, trying to remember. She looked questioningly at Kurt. "What happened?" she asked again, having to breath between words.

Doctor Thompson took that moment to step in.

"You were shot twice." he started, decided to relay the information to her in a clinical fashion. "One damaged your lung, the other your spleen… we had to remove your spleen and a lobe of your lung."

Jane looked worriedly at Kurt. His eyes were downcast and he wouldn't meet her gaze.

"How long?" she croaked.

"It's been a week." Kurt replied, still looking at the floor.

Jane frown.

"What?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound stronger. There was something he wasn't telling her. She could see it plastered all over his face.

Kurt finally lifted his head, looking at her eyes, his expression creasing with what looked like grief.

"You died, Jane." he choked out.

Jane blinked, her foggy brain having trouble deciphering that information. Was she still dead now? Was this a dream? What was going on? If she wasnt on such heavy painkillers, she would have been able to figure out that she had obviously been revived.

"You bled out…" Kurt could no longer speak, the doctor taking over.

"We managed to restart your heart and stabilise you in surgery. You've been in a medically induced coma for a few days now."

Jane nodded at that, her energy suddenly spent. She couldn't bring herself to process the information just yet. It was too overwhelming.

Both Kurt and the doctor noticed that she was fading.

"Call me if you need anything." Doctor Thompson said, before leaving the room. Quite often he had to have these conversations more than once with patients in the ICU, their opiate confused brains not always able to comprehend or remember what he tells them.

This left Kurt and Jane alone again. She reached weakly for his hand, needing to feel him close.

Kurt stood, kissing her gently on the forehead. "You rest now." he murmured. "I love you."

He thought Jane was already asleep, but she opened her lips, croaking out a soft "I love you too." before her breathing evened out and she drifted back off.

"Sweet dreams, baby." he murmured, before he was overcome with a strong sense of déjà vu. This time… he was so bloody thankful that she was showing signs of pulling through. She was doing everything faster than the doctors expected. He was so thankful that they were receiving this second chance.

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When Jane woke the third time, the first thing she felt was pain. Her eyes grew wide, her mouth falling open as her breath was stole away.

Her face grimaced in agony, her breath coming out in a sharp gasp.

"Jane?" Kurt was by her side in an instant.

"K-kurt…" she cried out.

"What's wrong Jane?" he asked desperately.

She replied by clenching her teeth, a strangled scream escaping her throat.

Kurt rushed to the door. "Please help!" he yelled, before returning to her side. "It's ok Jane… I'm here… what can I do?"

Jane couldn't speak. Her chest was white hot, screaming in pain every time she tried to take a breath. She was trying with all her might not to scream, knowing that it would make things worse. She writhed on the bed, tears leaking out of her eyes, travelling down to her hairline.

The ICU nurse came rushing in. Seeing how much pain Jane was in she quickly rushed back out, paging Jane's doctor.

Kurt couldn't do anything but hold her hand and whisper reassurances in her ear. He wanted nothing more than to lay on the bed with her and take her into his arms, but he knew that moving her would aggravate her pain even further.

"Sshhh Jane… try to calm down… slow your breathing down." he said desperately.

Due to being in the ICU, they didn't have to wait long for the doctor to show up.

It was Doctor Murphy who entered the room, the same doctor that had notified Kurt while Doctor Thompson had been operating on Jane the second time.

"What's happening?" she asked, rushing into the room, a team of nurses in her wake.

"I don't know!" Kurt replied, standing back out of the way. "She just woke up in agony!"

Doctor Murphy quickly examined her, while a nurse administered some stronger pain relief.

Jane started to calm down, the medication working quickly. Kurt sighed in relief as she relaxed. He looked questioningly at Doctor Murphy, who was examining Jane's suture sight.

"With all the tattoos it's hard to see if there is any underlying redness… but there is no extra swelling." She lowered Jane's gown back down, draping the blanket over her body again. "I think she is ok." Doctor Murphy said, turning towards Kurt. Jane had closed her eyes, trying to calm herself back down after such an onslaught of pain.

"She is becoming more aware. The sedation is completely out of her system… we just need to make a few modifications to her painkillers." The doctor smiled. "Relax Kurt… this is a good thing."

Kurt took a shaky breath in. While it had been torture seeing his wife in so much pain… it was a relief to know that she was coming back to him, both in body and in mind. It would only be a matter of time before she started to remember.

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Jane went from peacefully sleeping, to wide awake in a matter of seconds. Her eyes were wide, the most alert she had been in days, but there was an underlying panic set within.

"Jane? Are you in pain again?" Kurt asked, rushing to her side.

Jane shook her head.

"Water…" she croaked. Kurt lifted the head of the bed up slowly, before getting her cup from the nightstand. She took a quick sip, before clearing her throat. "The girl… did you find the girl?" she asked desperately.

Kurt smiled. Her memory was coming back. "She's safe." Kurt said, then paused. He wasn't sure how much of her memory had come back and he wasn't sure he was ready to address their argument. He shook his head. He was being selfish… and the longer he left things, the more pissed she would be if she remembered on her own and knew he had decided to avoid it. He took a breath. "Clem phoned in with an address… the man who- the man who shot you was holding her captive."

"Is she ok?" Jane asked, deciding for the time being not to comment on their argument. Checking on the wellbeing of the child was more important at this point.

Kurt nodded. "She's fine… they've reunited her with Fletcher."

Jane smiled, and nodded. "I'm glad she's ok."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them. Now was the time for apologies. They had both learnt that life was way too short. They needed to cherish each other. Apologize for the hurtful things they had said and move on…

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello all. I finally managed to write this chapter. Only 3 months bloody later *facepalm* anyway for those who are still with me, thank you for this journey. **

**This is the last chapter, though I will post an epilogue soon. **

**Thank you lurkingwhump for your patience with me... I know this has been a long time coming. **

**Please let me know what you think… again sorry it took so long. **

Jane settled back against the pillows, trying to find a more comfortable position. The humidified oxygen was still being delivered through the nasal cannula. It itched her nose and she wanted nothing more than to yank the darn thing out and throw it across the room.

She was nervous about the conversation they were about to have… but it needed to be done. They needed to heal from everything that had happened - though she suspected Kurt needed her forgiveness more than she needed his - that's not to say she didn't want his forgiveness, she just knew that having literally watched her die, the guilt would be eating him alive.

She watched him blow out a lungful of air, clearly nervous.

"Kurt…" she said, starting the apology. "I'm really sorry for-"

Kurt shook his head.

"You have nothing to apologise for Jane…" he said, cutting her off.

"Yes I do…" Jane said weakly. She was fading fast so she knew they needed to have this conversation quickly, before she passed out again. "I shouldn't have rung Clem without talking to you first." she said, staring deeply into his eyes. "And I should have been more understanding about how the case had made you feel. It hit pretty close to home."

"For both of us…" Kurt added, leaning forward and taking her hand. "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you… what we saw in that basement… I knew how much it affected you, but I was so caught up in my own demons… I wasn't there for you." He hung his head.

"I shouldn't have said what I did about Clem…" Jane continued. They needed to get everything out in the open.

Kurt met her gaze and he could see only truth to her words. Her eyes were big, her bottom lip quivering. He didn't think he had ever seen her look so vulnerable before.

"I'm sorry for bringing up Mayfair."

Jane closed her eyes at that one. Mayfair would forever be a sensitive subject. She had never forgiven herself for what happened, and she could honestly say she never would. It caused her physical pain every time someone so much as said her name. To hear Kurt apologising for bringing her up, did cause her a little relief.

"Did you mean what you said?" she asked in a quiet voice. "That I make everything about myself?"

Kurt shook his head vehemently. "No, Jane!" he leaned forward, trying to get her to look at him. "You are the most selfless, caring person I've ever met… out of everything that was said that day… that is the one I regret most."

Jane looked up at him with wide, watery eyes.

"This last week, I've been wondering if you took your vest off to save the rookie because of what I said… and then I realised you would have done it anyway. You weren't trying to prove a point to me… you were just doing what is so deeply ingrained in you." He reached up and stroked her cheek softly.

"I would never have slept with Clem if I knew I could come home." she said quietly. She knew this was the part that had hurt him the most. In order to truly forgive and forget, they needed to address everything.

Kurt sat back in his chair, swallowing thickly.

"I know." he said quietly. "I just wished you had at least apologised for it."

Jane hung her head.

"I should have… and I am truly sorry… I know it's probably a little late." she finished quietly, picking at her fingernails.

"It's ok, baby." He tilted her chin so she was looking at him. "From here on, we look forward. Clean slate."

With those words, Jane burst into tears. All the anxiety she had felt before she had been shot, surfacing all at once.

Her sobs quickly turned into a coughing fit, her body screaming in protest. She cried out in anguish.

"Shhhh… Jane… you're ok… just breathe baby… calm down…" he had helped her sit up and was rubbing her back.

Alarms started blaring at her distress, sending a wave of medical staff into her room. Doctor Thompson was the doctor on call. He strode into the room, injecting painkillers into her IV, before standing over her. He lifted her right arm gently, placing a pillow between her elbow and rib cage.

"Jane I know it hurts, but you need to stop fighting the cough. Just let it out. Try and control it, but don't hold it in." he instructed. "Use the pillow for support."

Jane did as she was told, allowing her body to cough in loud hacking barks. After a short while, the uncontrollable urge to cough started to dissipate and she was able to take some deeper breaths.

Kurt rubbed her back, overwhelmed from seeing her in such anguish. Once she had gotten her breath back, she sagged against him, totally spent. He helped lay her back against the pillows, softly brushing the curls off her face.

Her eyes were heavy and he knew she wasn't going to stay conscious for much longer.

"Get some rest, Jane." Doctor Thompson said. He motioned for the nurses to leave the room. "If you need anything, just press the buzzer."

Kurt continued standing over her, stroking her head softly.

"Oh baby…" he whispered, grief filling his heart. "I can't believe I nearly lost you…"

Jane managed to crack her eyes back open.

"I'm here." she rasped, her throat hoarse from coughing. "I'm here." she repeated.

He leaned forward and kissed her gently on her forehead.

"Sleep, my love." he murmured against her skin.

"We will talk more soon." she slurred, as her eyes fell shut. Within seconds she was asleep, the pain lines on her face smoothing out.

"Yes we will." he replied quietly, thanking the heavens that he had the opportunity to have this second chance with her. He would never take anything for granted again.

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Jane slept the rest of the day and through the next night. It wasn't until mid morning that she started to shift on the bed. Kurt smiled from the seat beside her, bringing her fingers to his lips.

"Morning sleepy head." he said softly.

Jane cracked her eyes open, returning the smile weakly.

"Morning?" she replied, a little disoriented. "How long have I been asleep?" she lifted her free hand to her face groggily, trying to wipe her eyes without bumping the nasal cannula.

"Forever." Kurt replied dramatically.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"I'm still so tired." she complained. "This is going to be a long recovery, isn't it?"

Kurt looked at her adoringly "Hey… at least you will recover." he murmured.

Jane caught his eye, scrunching her mouth up sympathetically. "Kurt…"

He hung his head, hiding his face behind her hands.

"Talk to me… please." she pleaded.

He sighed, refusing to look at her. This was a subject he wasn't quite ready to broach. She reached out and brushed his hair on the side of his temple.

"I don't… I don't know if I can…" he said sadly, the images of his bloodied, unconscious wife flashing through his head.

"It's ok… you don't have to talk to me… but you need to talk to someone." she replied softly. She could see how much this last week had affected him. She had been to hell and back, and he had been right along with her.

He finally met her gaze, her green eyes were wide in concern for him. He exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to school his emotions. He swallowed thickly, choking back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I just… ah… I just keep replaying the image of you coding in the chopper, over and over again in my mind… the moment we landed it went from manic activity, to just silence when they had taken you away…" He cleared his throat, swallowing again. Closing his eyes, he continued. "I didn't know if they had revived you for what felt like hours… and then when they told me you had pulled through… I felt like I could breathe again.

"Oh Kurt…" Jane said softly.

Now that he had started, he couldn't help the words from pouring out.

"And then you coded again… you started bleeding internally and they took you away again. At that point, all I wanted was for you to wake up. I just wanted you to wake up and be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." was all she replied. "I love you so much…"

Kurt could no longer contain his emotions. Relief literally poured out of him as he began to sob. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on the bed, while she rubbed the back of his head. He was relieved that not only had she pulled through, but also that she had forgiven him.

They stayed like that for a while, the top of Kurt's head coming to rest against her thigh. She continued to stroked the back of his head, just letting him get the emotional release he so desperately needed.

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0

The doctor came by a little later, genuinely ecstatic to see her awake.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, opening her chart.

"I'm ok." she replied weakly. This was the longest she had been awake in over a week.

"Any pain?" he asked.

Jane nodded. "It's worse when I cough."

"That's to be expected." Doctor Thompson replied. "Coughing is a really important part of your recovery though. It will help expand your lung and clear any nasties out. Use the pillow for support if you need to."

"Ok." Jane replied in a small voice. She hated the idea of having to cough like that, but if it was a part of her recovery, she would do it. For Kurt.

"How about nausea? It's fairly common for patients to feel quite sick after such an ordeal."

"Yeah my stomachs a little queasy." she admitted.

The fact that she had confessed that, made Kurt frown. It wasn't like his wife to disclose discomfort. She had to have been feeling pretty unwell to actually tell someone.

"We can set you up on some antiemetics if you need them." the doctor replied. "We would like to try and start introducing some food within the next day or so, so I would be happier if you had the medication on board before then."

Jane nodded again, the thought of vomiting with the pain she was already experiencing, sent waves of anxiety up her spine.

"Do you have any questions?" Doctor Thompson asked.

"Yeah… how long am I going to be this tired? I'm sick of sleeping." Jane asked.

Both the doctor and Kurt couldn't help but chuckle at that one. Sobering at the serious look on her face, the doctor replied.

"Your body has been through an ordeal Jane. Sleeping is the best way for you to heal."

Jane sighed slowly, not wanting to aggravate any of her injuries further. She was only a couple of days in and she was already fed up with the recovery process. She just needed to keep reminding herself how lucky she was that they had managed to bring her back.

"Any problems, just press the buzzer. I'll get the nurse to come and give her something for the nausea soon." Doctor Thompson said, before stepping out of the room.

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick?" Kurt asked almost immediately.

Jane shrugged.

"With everything that's going on inside of me, I kinda figured it was a given." she explained.

Kurt frowned.

"Please don't keep me in the dark."

"I wasn't trying to!" Jane retaliated. "Kurt… please. I can't tell you every feeling I have…"

"I nearly lost you." Kurt murmured quietly, cutting her off. "You died… and then we got a second chance. I need you to tell me everything… because it reminds me that you're alive."

Jane's face softened at that. "Ok Kurt…" she whispered. "If that's what you need, then I'll tell you."

She reached out for him, taking his hand and bringing his fingers to her lips.

"I'm ok…" she hushed. "I'm tired and sore and my stomach is churning. I have a headache. My nose itches from this darn thing..." she said pointing to the nasal cannula. "And I'm sad. I'm sad for everything that you have had to go through."

Kurt shook his head, looking at his wife in wonder.

"You feel that unwell… and yet your main concern is me?"

Jane nodded.

"Physical ailments I can handle… but seeing you like this… my heart is breaking."

Kurt leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

"As you've said, everything will be ok. We will get through this… just like we have with everything else."

"Yes we will." she agreed. "I can do anything, so long as you're here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." he said adamantly. "I'll be here every step of the way."

Jane smiled softly at that.

"Good."


	10. Chapter 10

**Well here it is!**

**I've finally finished! It's only taken me nearly a year. Thank you to everyone who has been so patient and stuck with me for the duration of this fic. I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused !**

**Big massive thanks to lurkingwhump. Without you I never would have managed to complete a fic like this. Thank you for the hours of research and plotting. I glove you. **

**Please let me know what you think ❤️**

It had been a week since Jane had woken up in the ICU, a fortnight since she had been shot. Her levels had remained steady, the doctors happy with her progress. She had slept most of the time, trying to rest as much as possible to regain her strength. She and Kurt had spoken a little more about their argument, trying to clear the air as best as possible.

Kurt had said "clean slate" but Jane still worried that their insecurities would lead them to destruction.

She apologized again for sleeping with Clem while she had been on the run. Knowing how badly she had hurt Kurt by cheating on him, she wanted nothing more than to heal his pain, especially when it had taken her a couple of years to actually say how sorry she was.

It was morning, Jane sat up in bed, a pillow between her ribcage and elbow for support. She was picking at her breakfast, waiting for Doctor Thompson to come in on his morning rounds.

Kurt sat next to her side, frowning at her lack of effort on the food in front of her. She was yet to regain her appetite, still complaining of nausea and stomach upset. She was on antiemetics four times a day, but they barely seemed to scrape the surface.

The first time she had tried to eat anything, she had ended up in a vortex of pain and sickness, as her stomach rejected the food. She had never felt agony like that before, and she was too anxious to try again.

Doctor Thompson entered the room at that point, his own face mirroring Kurt's concerned expression.

"How's my favourite patient this morning?" he asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

Jane shrugged, wincing slightly at the gesture. She was still in a lot of discomfort, especially when she made any sudden movements.

"Still not eating?" the doctor asked kindly, yet rhetorically.

Jane chewed on her bottom lip, before shaking her head softly.

"Jane, you really need to eat to regain your strength. You're not going to heal if your body doesn't have the fuel it needs."

Jane sighed, feeling defeated. She wanted to get better, truly, but she was so worried that her body would reject the food again. The severe onslaught of pain that had come with the vomiting, had lasted a couple of hours. She just wasn't sure she could handle that again.

"I'm still just feeling sick." she said in a small voice.

The doctor reached out and placed his hand on her shin. The three of them had grown quite friendly over the last week, so the gesture was acceptable.

"Jane if you don't start eating, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you on a feeding tube."

Jane grimaced at that. The thought of how intrusive that would be had her shuddering internally.

"I had come here in the hopes you had gotten your appetite back… your levels are remaining strong… you are showing a remarkable recovery rate. I was hoping to kick you out to gen pop today." the doctor joked.

Jane's eyes widened at that. She knew that she would be in hospital for a while yet, but she desperately wanted to get out of the ICU. She wanted to be able to go outside, maybe go for a short walk - have a fricken shower.

The doctor looked at her plate expectantly.

Jane sighed, before picking up a piece of dry toast, and bringing it tentatively to her mouth.

"Your stomach is going to be irritated for a start." Doctor Thompson warned. "The more you eat, the less unwell you will feel."

Jane took a small bite, chewing slowly. The toast tasted like saw dust in her mouth. She swallowed thickly, allowing the food to hit her stomach before taking another small bite. She did this until she had finished a whole piece of toast.

Her stomach grumbled unhappily at the sudden intrusion of substance.

She let out a long breath of air, trying to control her sudden queasiness.

"Have some water." the doctor said, handing her the cup. "It will help."

She took a couple of mouthfuls, before laying back against the pillows, one hand resting on her upset belly.

"You ok baby?" Kurt murmured, holding her other hand.

Jane didn't answer for a moment, before nodding.

"I don't think it's going to make a reappearance." she said, her voice relieved.

The doctor nodded and then smiled.

"Good. If you manage to eat your lunch without any mishaps, then I'll look at moving you into the Progressive Care Unit."

Jane reached out and took another drink of water.

"Thank you." she whispered, her exhaustion taking over.

"Get some rest." Doctor Thompson instructed, patting her on the leg again. "I'll be back to see you this afternoon."

Kurt stood and shook the Doctor's hand.

"Thanks doc." he said, relieved. No amount of coaxing had encouraged Jane to eat, so he was thankful the doctor had found a way.

He sat back beside his wife, taking her hand.

"Do you feel a bit better now you've eaten?" he asked softly.

Jane nodded. The initial queasiness of ingesting her first solid food in days, seemed to be passing.

He smiled warmly at her, leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead.

The nurse came by at that point to administer her pain relief, antibiotics and antiemetics.

He watched her eyes grow heavy - as they always did after her medication.

"Rest, Jane." he said softly. "Hopefully when you wake you'll be able to move out of here."

Jane smiled at that, before allowing herself to fall into a healing sleep, feeling better than she had in days.

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°

Kurt watched his wife sleeping, feeling proud as punch. She had managed to eat a light lunch and Doctor Thompson had happily transferred her to the Progressive Care Unit. She no longer needed to be in the ICU, but she still wasn't quite ready to be moved to a standard surgical ward. She still needed to be monitored closely, and any sudden change would land her straight back in the ICU.

He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. They had removed the humidified oxygen, switching it for a standard nasal cannula. She looked peaceful in her sleep, her expression one of relief.

Kurt knew that being transferred from the ICU had lifted the weight off of her chest. She liked to be able to see progress and this was a positive step forward.

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out he looked at the caller ID, before quickly leaving the room to allow his wife to sleep.

"Patterson." he answered the phone. "What have you got for me."

"Hey Kurt." she replied. "First off, how's Jane doing?"

"Better." Kurt said, and couldn't help it when the corners of his mouth started lifting again. "They've transferred her out of the ICU, and she managed to eat something."

He heard Patterson's sigh of relief.

"That's great news." she said softly.

Kurt heard her hesitate on the end of the line.

"What is it?" he asked, going into agent mode.

"I know who did the cover up on Anna Lee."

"Ok?" he asked. He didn't like the nervousness in her voice.

"It was Mayfair."

Kurt's eyebrows shot up.

"Mayfair?" he asked incredulously.

"It was because of Daylight. I speculated at the start and from the intel I've gathered, Mayfair was using Daylight to gather information on the Mob. She was trying to get one up on them."

"So what happened?" Kurt asked, pacing up the hallway.

"Well when Daylight went bust, all the information she had gathered on Anna Lee could no longer be used… she had to clean everything up, fast. The files got redacted and Anna Lee was set free."

Kurt exhaled slowly, sitting on a chair in the hallway and hung his head sadly.

"I honestly think it was just bad timing." Patterson replied quietly, hearing his sigh. "The system went down before she had gained enough legitimate intel to pin anything on her."

Kurt sighed.

"Thank you for letting me know."

"I thought you deserved the truth." Patterson said softly. "Give my best to Jane." she said, before hanging up.

Kurt pocketed his phone, running his hand over the scruff of his face. He needed a shave. The toll of the last few weeks was beginning to show. He could feel the fatigue settling like lead in his muscles.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. So it had been Mayfair all along. He knew when he had seen Patterson's face that morning that something had been up.

Shaking his head, he decided he would deal with those feelings later. Right now he needed to get back to Jane.

He walked back up the corridor, his blood running cold as he entered her room. The bed was empty, the blood pressure cuff, nasal cannula and monitors strewn across the bed.

"Jane?" he called, moving further into the room. When he received no answer he felt his heart rate start to pick up. "Jane?" he said again. He walked across to the adjoining bathroom, opening the door quickly.

Jane was lying unconscious and unmoving on the cold tile floor.

"Jane!" he yelled, rushing to her side. He hit the emergency button on the bathroom wall before collapsing to his knees beside her.

He reached out and cupped her cheek, trying to elicit a response from her.

"Jane." he murmured, stroking her eyebrow.

A team of medical staff came pouring into the room, Kurt moving out of the way to let them work.

"I don't know what happened. I left the room to make a call and when I came back she was like this." he relayed. What the hell had she been thinking, getting out of bed for the first time without assistance?

The doctor leading the team shone his penlight in her eyes.

"Pupils are even and reactive, let's turn her on her side and raise her legs. I think she's just fainted and is having a bit of trouble coming back to us."

They turned her gently into the recovery position, being careful not to pull at the suture sights. A nurse crouched on the ground, elevating Jane's legs.

A couple of painstaking moments later, Jane's face contorted in pain. She groaned, before her breathing accelerated and she let out a wail of anguish.

"Push 10mg of morphine." the doctor instructed. "Jane? Can you hear me?" the doctor asked, leaning over her.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut, trying to curl in on herself as her abdomen pulsed with pain. She had fallen onto her suture sites, the impact sending tendrils of white hot agony up her side.

The nurse injected the morphine into Jane's upper arm. Kurt watched in horror as she writhed on the floor, screams of anguish escaping through her clenched teeth.

He ached to go to her, but didn't want to get in the way of the medical staff. He saw the doctor leaning over her, urging her to slow her breathing down and try to relax.

It was a few painstaking minutes later, that the morphine finally seemed to start taking effect. Her wails died down to whimpers, and her body seemed to calm down a little, her muscles not so rigid.

"Ok let's get a transfer sheet under her. I'm not comfortable with her standing again so soon." the doctor instructed his team.

Kurt stood back in the room, watching the staff roll Jane onto the sheet.

"On my count." the doctor said, coming to a standing position. "Three, two, one."

In unison they lifted Jane from the bathroom floor, before manoeuvring her back into her room.

She cried out in pain at the movement, before her eyes squeezed shut, and her mouth opened in a silent scream.

They lay her on the bed gently, shuffling the sheet out from under her. The nurse helped prop her up on the pillow, before tucking the blankets back over her.

"Alright Jane, we're gonna take some obs, ok? After that if your pain hasn't calmed down, we can give you a little bit more morphine."

Jane nodded, before finally opening her eyes. "Kurt!" she whimpered, her eyes begging him to come closer.

Kurt took that as the opening he had been waiting for, rushing to her side. He stepped up to her face, smoothing her hair back gently.

"I'm here… I'm here." he soothed.

One nurse got to work, taking her blood pressure and temperature, while the other hooked her back up to the monitors and inserted her nasal cannula back into her nose.

"What were you thinking?" he asked softly.

Jane's chin wobbled slightly, her eyes wide and vulnerable.

"I n-needed to use the bathroom." she got out in a small voice.

Kurt frowned at that. She had had her catheter removed before being transferred to the PCU, in the hopes her body would start performing normal functions again.

"Why didn't you call?" he asked tenderly, though he already knew the answer.

"I didn't want to call the nurse for something so trivial."

Kurt shook his head.

"Oh, Jane." he whispered. "They're there to help."

One of the nurses nodded in agreement. "He's right you know." she said kindly. "Anything you need, you just need to ask."

Jane sighed, before grimacing in pain again. A small sob escaped her throat, making Kurt's heart constrict.

"Your vitals are a little high." the doctor told them. "No more unassisted trips Ms Doe, or you will end up back in the ICU."

Jane agreed by silent communication, trying to breathe through the pain. She couldn't speak, the agony in her side throbbing with every beat of her accelerated heart.

"Do you feel you need the second dose?" the doctor asked.

Jane nodded, making eye contact with Kurt. The expression on his face broke her heart. She had yet again caused him pain by her own stupid actions.

The nurse injected another, smaller dose of morphine into her IV.

"You'll hopefully be able to sleep the brunt of the pain off with that many painkillers on board." the nurse said kindly, before capping the needle and moving off.

Once Jane seemed to have settled down, the doctor checked her heart rate again.

"Good. It's a little lower. You just rest. I'll be back to check on you in a little while." he said, before making eye contact with Kurt. "Call if you need anything." he said, giving Jane a pointed look.

Kurt nodded his thanks, before returning his attention to his wife.

Already, the second dose of painkillers seemed to be taking effect, her face still contorted in pain, but her eyelids heavy.

Kurt sat gently on the bed, the adrenaline seeping from his body, leaving him feeling a bit shaky himself. He continued to stroke her hair off her forehead, hoping his ministrations were helping to relax her.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, before she let out a long breath of air and drifted off to sleep.

Kurt closed his eyes in exhaustion and concern.

_What the hell was he going to do with her? _

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°

Jane slept through the rest of the afternoon and through the next night, her body completely exhausted from the faint.

Kurt stayed by her side all night, managing to get a couple of hours sleep in the armchair next to her bed. After her ordeal with the bathroom floor, there was no way he was going to let her out of his sight, until he was confident she was actually going to ask for help.

She woke up the next morning, blinking against the morning light.

"Hey." Kurt murmured, leaning forward to kiss her good morning.

Jane grimaced, her body still tender from falling the day before, but she managed a smile for her husband's benefit.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, though he could already guess by her pale complexion and the drawn features to her face.

"Sore." she admitted, shuffling on the bed to try and get more comfortable.

"You'll be due your meds shortly." Kurt informed her, looking at his wrist watch. "And then you really need to try and eat breakfast. You missed dinner last night."

Jane groaned at the mere thought of food. Her insides had started churning again after the onset of pain, reminding her of the agony she had felt the first time she had eaten and vomited.

"Jane… you need to try." Kurt encouraged. "I know how badly you don't want to end up back in the ICU."

Jane sighed, before meeting his eye.

"I'll try." she rasped quietly. Her throat was raw, her voice husky from screaming the day before.

A nurse came round, administering her medication into her IV line. Jane exhaled in relief when the pain meds and antiemetics started working.

Her breakfast came shortly after and Jane couldn't help but pull a face at the food in front of her. Her belly lurched, sending her into a fit of panic.

"I don't think I can." she admonished. She looked up at Kurt with big sorrowful eyes.

Kurt sighed, before standing.

"That's it." he murmured, before walking to the door. "I'll be back soon."

Jane sat in her bed feeling dumbfounded. Had he really just walked out on her? She knew that his patience was starting to wear thin, but she never thought he would actually leave because she felt too unwell to eat. She knew he wanted her to get better with all his soul, and she did too, but the thought of eating with her already unsettled stomach, and then possibly being sick… she shuddered.

Jane sat staring at the TV, flipping through the channels for what felt like hours. She had kept her promise and notified the nurse when she needed to use the bathroom. To her horror, because her blood pressure was still low, the nurse had brought her in a bed pan. They didn't want her walking with her vitals the way they were and potentially passing out again.

But she breathed through the embarrassment, knowing that if she didn't, Kurt would probably kill her himself.

It was almost midday when he arrived back in her room.

"Kurt… I…" she cut herself off when she saw the two little visitors traipsing in behind her husband. "Fletcher!" she beamed, grinning from ear to ear. His little face made her heart swell. Peeking out from behind Fletcher, was a little girl, one who she had only seen in photographs. "You must be Tyler." she said gently.

The little girl nodded, before smiling back at Jane.

"I thought you could use a little cheering up." Kurt admitted.

Jane looked up at her husband, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. "Thank you." she mouthed, before turning back to her small visitors.

"I gots you something." Fletcher said proudly, before placing a takeaway mug on Jane's bedside table. "Broth." he said proudly.

"Oh… Fletcher… thank you. Maybe I'll have it in a little while." she said before looking up at Kurt. "Low blow." she muttered at her husband. The fact that he had used a six year old to get her to eat, had her both wanting to laugh and cringe at the same time.

Fletcher shook his head.

"No… Mr Kurt said you have to eat it all up while we are here. He said you're sick…"

Jane sighed. Of course Kurt would have told him that. He was using all the ammunition at his disposal.

"Yes… my tummy's just feeling a bit yucky." she said softly, directing her attention back to the little boy.

Fletcher looked up at her thoughtfully.

"My mommy always used to make me broth when I was sick too… she said that even if I didn't feel like it, I needed to eat it… so I could get better." He scratched his head. "You need to get better… so you need to eat the broth."

Jane eyed her husband wearily, before picking up the takeaway mug. "Alright then…" How could she say no to that face? Though she was incredibly concerned that things may go pear shaped. She didn't want to scare the children if her body was to reject the food and send her into a screaming fit of torment.

She opened the lid with shaky hands, before bringing the mug to her mouth. She took a sip, before swallowing thickly, stifling a groan as the broth hit her stomach and started bubbling.

"You have to drink more." Tyler piped up for the first time.

Jane sighed, bringing the mug back to her lips. "If this goes wrong, you need to get them out of here quickly." she muttered to Kurt, before taking another sip.

"You'll be fine, Jane." Kurt murmured, raising his eyebrows at his wife. He felt guilty that he had used the kids as a form of blackmail, he knew Jane wouldn't be able to deny them, but he couldn't see her going backwards, not this far into her recovery.

Jane managed to drain, half of the mug, before Kurt saw her face turn three shade paler, a green hue tingeing her cheeks. "Drink some water." he told her gently, handing her the cup.

She looked incredibly uncomfortable, breathing shallowly as she tried to keep the broth inside of her.

She took a couple of sips of water, before laying back onto the pillows, her eyes closed. "I'm done for now." she said gently, not wanting to scare the kids, but also letting Kurt know that in no way was she going to try and consume more of the broth with her belly roiling the way that it was.

"Was it nice?" Fletcher asked, reaching out to touch Jane's arm. He started tracing the tattoos on her skin, making her smile. She opened her eyes to look at him, her nausea momentarily forgotten.

"The best I've had."

Both Fletcher and Tyler broke out into massive grins.

"We helped make it!" Tyler beamed, jumping up and down excitedly.

"You did?" Jane asked, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. She was growing tired, but seeing these two, made her feel happier than she had in days.

A nurse entered the room at that point, holding a kidney fish full of vials.

"Just here for a bit of blood." she told them.

Fletcher looked worriedly up at Jane.

"Do… do you want me to go first?" he asked hesitantly, remembering how Jane had gone first when he had to have a test.

The corners of Jane's mouth lifted, before she shook her head gently.

"No it's ok. Thank you though! You're very sweet."

Fletcher beamed, turning to Tyler and whispering something in her ear.

She looked up at Jane with wide eyes.

"The lady that looks after us, told me I have to say thank you." she said gently. "But I can't remember what for."

Jane felt a mound of tension, that she didn't even know she was holding, release from her shoulders. So Tyler really was none the wiser. She had been treated well enough while she had been kidnapped, that she had just thought she was just in another foster home. She sighed softly, smiling gently at the little girl.

"You are most welcome."

She eyed her husband wearily, indicating that she wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer.

"I like Miss Rebecca." Fletcher piped up. "I hope we get to stay with her forever!" he said, jumping excitedly.

"Me too!" Tyler giggled.

Fletcher returned to tracing the lines on Jane's arms, still just intrigued by the "drawings" as he had been the first time.

"How about we say goodbye now, hmm?" Kurt suggested, seeing his wife's eyes starting to droop.

"Aww." They both whined. Jane smiled in amusement. The innocence on their faces was so refreshing.

"How about you come and see me again in a few days?" she suggested, knowing that it was going to be their little faces that helped her get through her recovery.

"Ok!" They both said eagerly.

"Goodbye Miss Jane!" Fletcher said loudly, before Tyler followed suit.

"Goodbye." Jane replied softly, waving at them. "Thank you for the broth."

Both children grinned back at her, before waiting by the door for Kurt. Kurt leant forward, giving his wife a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you." Jane said sincerely. Their visit had truly managed to cheer her up. She watched them leave, laying back into the pillows with a contented sigh.

She drifted off quickly, the anxiety in her belly finally calm.

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°

_One week later. _

Jane and Kurt sat outside in the hospital gardens. She had slowly built up the strength to be able to walk around the hospital corridors, and today Kurt had surprised her by taking her outside for the first time in three weeks.

They had walked out of the hospital slowly, Kurt pushing a wheelchair in case she got too tired. She had made it out to the garden without a hitch and was now sitting in complete content, with the sun on her face, the breeze running through her hair.

She let out a peaceful sigh, before opening her eyes, to see her husband looking at her.

"What?" she asked self consciously.

"Nothing… you're just really beautiful."

Jane felt herself blush. Even after all these years, he could still get a rise out of her, just by paying her a simple compliment.

"I'm so thankful that you are ok." he added seriously. "I don't… I don't know what I would have done if…" he choked on the words, suddenly not able to speak.

Jane reached out and took his hand.

"But I didn't." she finished. "We are both ok… Fletcher and Tyler are ok… everything worked out."

He took a shuddering breath in, before releasing it slowly. "I'll never take anything for granted again." he said gently.

Jane hung her head. "I'll never take you for granted again."

Kurt cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Clean slate remember. Forgive and forget."

Jane smiled softly, bringing her hand up to rest against his own.

"Forgive and forget." she repeated, moving their hands down so they were covering her heart. "Now… when do I get to go home?"

Kurt chuckled at that. "Soon, my love. Soon."

He pulled her against him, holding her close. He was so thankful he would get to take her home at all, that he wasn't in a great rush to get her there. He needed her to rest and to heal, so they could continue their lives together.

They needed to continue saving the world, by solving as many cases as possible and taking down one bad guy at a time.

This was their second chance… and neither of them would forget it.

_Fin_.


End file.
